tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14222193809462093522024-03-13T13:09:57.545+00:00Irrelevant irreverenceWelcome, friends/strangers of the internet. This is my sport blog which has had unbelievably moderate success. Feel free to take a peek into my sporting consciousness. Take your shoes off.
Follow me on Twitter: dougaselder2 (one day I'll be number one) for disappointingly infrequent sport moans.Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-18864289306614044792014-04-13T19:06:00.000+01:002014-04-13T19:06:25.677+01:00The Premier League 2013/14: Liverpool title win is written in the stars (it’ll make sense at the end, just read)<div class="MsoNormal">
So, after a weekend which was meant to decide the destination
of the Premier League title, we still have no real idea who’s going to win the
biggest prize in English football. Shows what we know!<br />
<br />
For all the talk of Super Sundays, title-deciders and must-win games, there
remains an intriguing air of uncertainty about how this season is going to pan
out at the top and the bottom of the Premier League. With all due respect to
the relegation dogfight though, I really don’t care enough about it to write
about it. So there.<br />
<br /><img 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" /><br /><br />
Besides, when the three teams I hate the most are competing for a prize I care
about more than any, it makes for an interesting situation and, hopefully,
interesting reading. Three parties vying for power and glory over our great nation,
all of whom I despise…it’s a bit like a General Election.<br />
<br />
Today’s first match was like none other I have seen this season. Liverpool
against City was, quite rightly, billed as a huge match and, unlike so many
other matches between top teams, it actually delivered on quality and drama.<br />
<br /><img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br /><br />
Five goals, a late red card and penalty appeals all over the place, the whole
match was a beautiful shambles, a tribute to the frenetic, chaotic nature of
English football. Luis Suarez, the man with the uncanny ability to annoy me
anytime, anywhere, was once again on top form, but arguably should have been
sent off three times, all for what I would call ‘bitch offences’: diving,
kicking the ball away, and just generally being Luis Suarez.<br />
<br />
The match was an exhilarating oasis in a desert of serenity and sombre reflection.
This Tuesday marks the 25<sup>th</sup> anniversary of the Hillsborough tragedy
and both sides were commendable in their respect to the victims. The game
almost felt like a distraction at times, given the enormity of the occasion,
the sombre nature of the match’s context and the Sky-inspired hyperbole in the
build-up.<br />
<br /><img 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" /><br /><br />
However, it must be said that this was a match of real quality and
entertainment between the two best sides in the country, not just in an
attacking sense, but in terms of how they played throughout the season.<br />
<br />
And yet, there is one more protagonist in this season which continues to twist
and meander like a rapid, turning river. Chelsea have almost gone under the
radar in recent weeks, due to a combination of indifferent league form and their
Champions League exploits. <br />
<br />
Today, like a gifted child doing a piece of boring homework, they once again
did the bare minimum required, scraping over the line against a Swansea side
who had been – quite rightly – reduced to ten men fifteen minutes in.<br /><br /><img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
<br />
To quote the banal nonsense of pundits up and down the country, winning games
in second gear a few times a season is a commendable quality, after all, ‘it’s
what champions do’. However, doing it week after week is just really boring.
Credit must be given to Jose Mourinho for his outstanding record at delivering
success wherever he goes, but the debate as to whether it is all really worth
it continues to rumble on. Well, it doesn’t. It’s worth it. Unfortunately.<br />
<br />
Chelsea cannot be discounted. Their football may make self-castration a viable
alternative to watching their games, but they continue to accumulate points. A win
at Anfield in two weeks may ultimately see them crowned champions. Before this
turns into a full-blown rant at the Blues, let me acknowledge that, as a Man
United supporter, most of this is borne out of jealousy and with the acceptance
that, if United played the same football, but had the same results, I may not
be complaining. <br />
<br />
But they don’t, and they haven’t, so I am.<br />
<br />
With four week of this season remaining, I am loathe to predict the winner of
this incredible title race. I am also loathe to watch any of these teams take
the biggest prize. As a London-based United fan, I have reason to despise City
the least, so they reluctantly get my vote, but it is a decision similar to
choosing to be beheaded rather than burnt or drowned.<br />
<br />
Many neutrals should be supporting Liverpool, however. My position as a United
fan means I cannot support them. It’s not biologically possible. Honestly, I
tried once and I started going purple and my skin fell off. Despite that, one
must accept that they play the best football, deserve another shot at domestic
success and conduct themselves in the right way.<br />
<br />
Like the theme music for Super Sunday, some things in football are simply ‘written
in the stars’. 25 years on from Hillsborough, it would feel oddly fitting if
Liverpool were on their way to a piece of history.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-81821140623119688062014-03-14T12:41:00.004+00:002014-03-14T13:51:52.673+00:00We need to talk about Robin<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>First, an admission. This is ANOTHER
Man United blog. Necessary evils and all that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, Robin van Persie has announced he has no problems with
Manchester United manager David Moyes. Which raises one important question: How
on earth did someone get a gun into an interview with Robin and use it to force
him to say such ridiculous things?<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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Van Persie has gone through this season with all the
enthusiasm of a stoned man running a marathon. Is he trying? Of course. Does he
rate David Moyes? I don’t think so. How can he? Moyes is good manager and one who is worth persevering with, but will a world-class player like van Persie appreciate being told what to do by a man who has won diddly-squat?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
United’s whole season has been a bit like the Russian Police Choir,
who memorably covered ‘Get Lucky’ at the Winter Olympics. In other words, it’s
been entertaining, well-rehearsed and you can see what they’re trying to do. Unfortunately, like with that example of musical excellence, only a few of the protagonists look interested, and the quality
is actually rather poor. Therefore, you get a collection of men trying to
re-create a classic; searching for a much better version of what they’re able to achieve. However, like that choir, I can’t stop watching them.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
Van Persie has even scored 14 goals this season, a great return for a man who
has been injured for vast chunks of the campaign, and for one playing in a struggling team.
However, it’s his attitude which has concerned many, as well as a slight decline
in his overall play. Of course, these are small details, but in a time where
the team has as much consistency as lumpy custard, it is far more recognisable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In many ways, as a United fan, I wouldn’t be too upset to
see him go. He left Arsenal in acrimonious circumstances and left to join a
United team with a lot of potential and a manager in Alex Ferguson who looked
set to be around for years to come. Ferguson did not mean it of course, but
Robin would later be duped by Fergie's retirement. The Dutchman did more than most in securing a record 20th
English league title for United, so us fans owe him a lot of gratitude.</div>
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In addition, there have been times this season when United
have looked better without their talisman. Danny Welbeck may have all the composure
of a virgin during his ‘first time’ and probably struggles to finish his
dinner, let alone a football move, but he does help the team. His pace and work-rate allows him to stretch defences and helps the likes of Adnan Januzaj, Wayne Rooney and
Juan Mata find space. How do I know this? It happened against mighty West Brom,
that’s how. We beat West Brom, so we’re on the way up.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nNS7OMrYjVo/UyL97r6hVHI/AAAAAAAAAFs/WroYcQLRE34/s1600/Van+Persie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nNS7OMrYjVo/UyL97r6hVHI/AAAAAAAAAFs/WroYcQLRE34/s1600/Van+Persie.jpg" height="320" width="249" /></a></div>
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It may well be that van Persie is telling the truth and
wants to see out his career with United. It was the ‘little boy’ inside
him that made him join in the first place. However, little boys often beg their parents for something they are convinced they need, but soon get bored and dispose of the item all the same. If United are fearing a life after
van Persie, they need not. United have suffered greater problems in the last
few months, this would be merely another blow to recover from. Out of crisis
often comes opportunity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In the meantime, van Persie can back up his words with
performances on the pitch. This week, he is likely to be called upon to help
United come back against Olympiakos in the Champions League and hopefully
inspire a surprise win at home to Liverpool in the Premier League. After
significant, late misses in the away games against those teams, this week would
be a good time to make amends. <br /><br />Van Persie has already given United a lot. If he
wants to give us more, he has to start now. No one is questioning his talent or
goal-scoring, but at United, you are measured by more than just that.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-79683341421902204142014-03-14T12:38:00.000+00:002014-03-14T13:38:02.324+00:00Formula One's step into the unknown<div style="border: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #373737;"><span style="height: auto; margin: 0.4em auto 1.625em;"><img alt="F1 Malaysian GP" class="aligncenter wp-image-2856" src="http://www.ladvision.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/F1-Malaysian-GP.jpg" height="306" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0.4em auto 1.625em; padding: 6px;" width="640" /></span></span></div>
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It seems like only yesterday that Sebastian Vettel was
crossing the line at the Brazilian Grand Prix to take his ninth straight
victory and put the final seal on a season which, let’s face it, was pretty
fucking dull. Well it’s back!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
And like The Beatles song of the same name, ‘yesterday’ was when Vettel’s
problems were so far away. Indeed, for the time being at least, it looks as
though they’re here to stay.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Why? Well, the reasons are boring and technical and, more
importantly, I don’t understand half of them myself. Therefore, it would be a
bit embarrassing for a Formula One ‘expert’ to not know shit about the biggest
changes seen in the sport in a generation. But it should make for an exciting
year, and that’s just on the track.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Off the track, Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone remains dogged
by bribery charges and other business naughties. Yes, naughties. Basically, he
undervalued the price of Formula One in a sale to a broadcaster in order to
maintain control of the sport. Or something, I don’t really care. What I do
know is that Ecclestone DOES know how to run the sport, but does NOT know how
to work a revolving door. (Look it up, you won't be sorry.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Fittingly, a revolving door would probably best describe the
driver changes that have gone on during the off-season, with drivers flocking
from one team to the next with less commitment than Kim Kardashian at a
speed-dating event. Kimi Raikkonen returns to Ferrari, Felipe Massa has joined
Williams, and a young Dane called Kevin Magnussen has joined Jenson Button at
McLaren.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for Red Bull, they have seen Mark Webber replaced by
friendly Australian Daniel Ricciardo. The theory clearly being that Vettel
works best with Aussie drivers who are good, but not great. <br />
<br />
As it happens, Ricciardo has some differences to Webber, including a kind of permanent, happy-go-lucky smile.
Not in a creepy way, more in a ‘I can’t believe I lucked into the best car in
the world, only for it to turn crap’ kind of way …a bit like winning the
lottery with a ticket made of melting chocolate. Either way, it's in stark contrast to Webber's 'everyone around me is a total wanker, but I'll humour them for a while' persona.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Red Bull have struggled to get to grips with the major
regulation changes which have been put in place over the winter and, in spite
of being four-time World champions, they look set to begin the season at the back of
the grid. This has apparently made Vettel a little grumpy. This is
understandable, but at the same, it’s highly amusing and refreshing.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sqH1wkuXo3Q/UyL-iSSRTsI/AAAAAAAAAFw/xGz42qEdBcI/s1600/Vettel+earphones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sqH1wkuXo3Q/UyL-iSSRTsI/AAAAAAAAAFw/xGz42qEdBcI/s1600/Vettel+earphones.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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At the front are likely to be Mercedes, including
earring-wearing, worldy-dating, cliché-spouting Lewis Hamilton and Nico
Rosberg, who has great hair. The German team excelled during testing in terms
of both speed and reliability. Expect them to be on the front row in Australia, or at least close to it. Of course, I say that, but expect nothing, I have no
idea what is going to happen. It could be like Whacky Races, with Fernando
Alonso taking the place of Dick Dastardly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
Heading back to off-track matters, seven-time World champion Michael Schumacher
remains, at time of writing, in a medically-induced coma but is apparently
showing signs of recovery. Whatever you thought of him as a driver, we should
all be united in our hope that he recovers as soon as possible.<br />
<br /></div>
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Schumacher was at the forefront of Formula One’s most boring
era, when he would only have to look at his Ferrari and it would win him races.
Hopefully, he wakes up in time to witness the start of what could be the most
unpredictable Formula One season ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-71779644770978723442014-02-02T23:47:00.003+00:002014-02-03T00:04:10.072+00:00ANOTHER Super Bowl blog: The Greatest Show on Turf vs Douglas ElderIf you're reading this because I've forced you to via my Facebook and Twitter profiles, thank you.<br />
If you've accidentally stumbled across this due to the incredible amount of Super Bowl internet traffic, KEEP READING, I MIGHT MAKE YOU LAUGH.<br />
<br />
When I set up this blog exactly two years ago, I did so with the intention of discussing the biggest sports and finding a way to make them trivial, light-hearted and insignificant. Sometimes, with varying success, I have even tried to be funny.<br />
<br />
Tonight, as I sit at my family computer with a half-eaten banana for company, I face my biggest test: making The Super Bowl funny. I must point out a couple of things at this point: One, that I know less about American Football than Jamie Redknapp knows about regular football. Two, I may offend a few of my Gridiron-loving friends and, worse still, the 80% of tonight's audience who know less about the sport than I do. Gridiron is American Football by the way, guys. And yes, in all probability, this won't be a funny article.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.imgflip.com/6lqpl.jpg" /><br />
<br />
My earliest exposure to American Football was in an episode of The Simpsons, where Homer - who had earlier expressed a wish to own the Dallas Cowboys - ends up being given the Denver Broncos. Homer's anguished cry of "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn1ncpCJvVY">oohhh the Denver Broncos</a>!" led me to an assumption which I still carry to this day: that the Broncos are shit. However, with Denver contesting tonight's match, it has caused me to doubt everything I thought I knew - nothing - about this sport.<br />
<br />
Facing up to the Broncos are the Seattle Seahawks (I think, I've done no research). What do I think about the match-up? Well, I will say that everything looks set up for a game of American Football which, at the end of the day, is what the fans want to see. The game will either be really close, or one of the Seahawks or Broncos will win comfortably. It is that hard to call for me, so don't expect a prediction.<br />
<br />
If nothing else, Super Bowl XLVIII should be a good exercise for all of us, as it has taught us the importance of clever marketing, sleep patterns and Roman numerals. The last week has been filled with predictions, exaggerations and expectations. In fact, if The Super Bowl was called The Hyperbole, it wouldn't make too much difference to the meaning of the event.<br />
<br />
I know what you're thinking. "Doug, if you're going to be really sarcastic and keep naysaying, why are you even writing about this?" That's a valid point as, in all honesty, I do quite like The Super Bowl. I like the razzmatazz of the event and the whole - for want of a better word - 'Americaness' of everything. I don't know much about American Football, but I know just about enough to enjoy the games if there is nothing else on. In this country, many of us treat this sport with a lot of cynicism, especially given the predominance of Rugby Union. I think this is a shame as, just like with any sport, there is the potential for great drama and controversy. To dismiss this sport is tempting, but ultimately ignorant.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FqQEHPUq6Zc/SO9JoOBlE5I/AAAAAAAABtw/4Go9SBEQUvU/s400/football-lingerie-bowl-8.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">How British Rugby fans - usually called Brian - view American Football</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"Why do those big girls wear so much padding?" Rugby Union fans ask. "Why is the game so stop-start?" they (ironically) cry. "Why are the referees so camp?" I wonder. Whether you like the nuances of the game or not, there is much to admire about this sport, even if it isn't exactly my cup of tea. There is a lot of tactical acumen required, not to mention incredible athletic prowess. <br />
<br />
By the by, the reason the players require padding where Rugby players do not is because, in American Football, you can be hit regardless of whether you have the ball or not, and you can be hit from any direction. Being clothes-lined in mid-air doesn't sound like my idea of fun, and neither does landing neck-first after a seven foot drop, so I think we can let this stupid point slide.<br />
<br />
Besides, whether we like it or not, American Football is growing in popularity on this side of the Atlantic. More and more of my friends are picking a favourite team who they know nothing about, and I even know two people who ACTUALLY like the sport, naming players and everything. Indeed, talk of a London-based franchise is not as far-fetched as it once was. After all, this country often hosts regular-season NFL games now, and the crowds are always excellent, which is more than can be said for attendances at more 'English' sporting matches. I'm looking at you, Wigan Athletic fans.<br />
<br />
To be honest, as a wannabe sports writer, I really should be getting to know this game a lot more. The opportunity to brush up on one of the few sports I don't have a geeky, 40-year-old-virgin-like obsession with should be too good to miss. But for whatever reason, it isn't really for me. Maybe it's the showboating celebrations over insignificant passages of play, the constant build-up or the need for a concert. A CONCERT! HALFWAY THROUGH THE EVENT! ON THE ACTUAL PITCH!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td><img src="http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39809000/jpg/_39809929_janet_out_getty300.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Even the prospect of accidental boobage hasn't tempted me this year.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Super Bowl is often described as 'The Greatest Show on Turf' which I think does a huge disservice to other sporting events, and Ground Force. However, I'll leave people to their appreciation of this huge event and the chance to pay homage to one of America's greatest pastimes. Although there is much to deride about this sport, there is a lot more to appreciate.<br />
<br />
As for me, I now have a banana to finish and a bed to go to. I won't be making the admirable journey through the night, following the game to the bitter end, but I hope y'all enjoy the match.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-72479629562138066112014-01-26T23:42:00.003+00:002014-01-26T23:42:58.102+00:00Juan small step for Man...UnitedFirst of all, an apology.<br /><br />I'm sorry that I have marketed* my collection of incoherent nonsense as an all-sport blog, when my last few entries have focused almost entirely on Manchester United. Therefore, I'm going to the dignified thing and...continue to talk about United tonight.<br /><br />* - I say marketed, this blog hasn't made me a penny, and it probably never will. Strip away the analogies and it's pretty crap.<br /><br />I'm aware that as an editorial 'all-rounder', I am as successful as I was an all-rounder for my school cricket team (my batting average was below two and I had an illegal bowling action). I'm also aware that my last three pieces have been less an objective view of United's current plight and more an impassioned plea for support for David Moyes. But it's my blog, I can do whatever I like with it. Until you beg me to stop.<br /><br /><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/6f9y1.jpg" /><br /><br />Let's begin. <br /><br />The recent signing of Juan Mata has brought a lot of optimism to Manchester United, and there is hope that things might, MIGHT start to turn around. Yes, Mata cost over £37 million and yes, no one is quite sure where Mata will fit in the United team, but we bought someone! An actual player! A player renowned for talent! Not his hair!<br /><br />But let's not kid ourselves, the signing of the former Chelsea player remains the embodiment of the phrase 'polishing a turd', even if he is dam good polish. In spite of Mata's arrival, United look as fragile in defence as an ice condom and as ineffective in midfield as an...ice condom. For all our optimism and proclamations of a return to the glory days, Juan is not a better defender than Chris Smalling and he is not a better holding midfielder than Darren Fletcher. He is merely the first step of a long journey. The tip of the iceberg. The foothills of a mountain (the Mata-horn?).<br /><br />At the time of writing, there are five days until the transfer window shuts, and United probably need at least one more signing to justify the new-found good feeling around the club. There have been whispers of a bid for Southampton's Luke Shaw in a bid to shore up (pun intended) the left-back position, which looks set to be vacated by Patrice Evra in the summer. Even if Evra seems to be the only person not to know this. In fact, Evra looks more and more like a naive husband blind to his partner's rather obvious infidelity.<br /><br />Of course, most United fans would welcome this news. Shaw looks as good a future left-back prospect as Gareth Bale once was. Gareth Bale, the Real Madrid right winger. But even so, although left-back is in need of a revamp, there is another area in more urgent need of an overhaul. I'll give you a clue: Cleverley, Carrick, Fletcher, Giggs.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><img height="268" src="http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/16478000/ngbbs48446f28455ab.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>Can you tell what it is yet?</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Bingo! Central midfield indeed! Over the last four weeks, as I have anxiously checked every available gossip column for news of a new midfield powerhouse, I have experienced giddy excitement before inevitable, crushing disappointment. Stellar names are mentioned and then consigned to the scrap heap as players sign new contracts out of pure fear of having to play for us, or as clubs apply for restraining orders to keep David Moyes and Phil Neville away from their stadiums. And to stop going through their bins.<br /><br />I've become so desperate that I've even stopped believing in my own mantra: if CaughtOffside say it will happen, it will not happen.<br /><br />Yohan Cabaye is the latest player United won't buy. Although he would be a vast improvement on our current stock of midfielders, he would not make us good enough to compete in the years to come and certainly won't justify the huge transfer fee Newcastle are likely to demand. Besides, we'd find a way to make him one-paced and totally average. We'd find a way to make a French player predictable.<br /><br />Another far more exciting prospect is Arturo Vidal. Ahhh Vidal, you tease! Will he join us? Won't he? No, he won't. Or will he?! No, he won't. Why would Juventus sell him? Why would Vidal leave a team which is top of Serie A for United? What can we offer him, other than a bit more money? A Twix? Michael Carrick's parking space?<br />
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<tr><td><img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSgE1abFZnpv6OeM5ZtiTlQ_lRLtsg6OdS18J8uNWsldJnf5YKgKA" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">If not Vidal, we only said Juve could BORROW Pogba, right?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
However, I can still dream. Vidal is so good, I would put my hand in a blender and listen to Justin Bieber albums for three weeks just for the chance to see him come to Old Trafford, nutmeg Tom Cleverley, give him a wedgie and leave, never to return. He is that good. But we won't buy him, we'll probably spend £50 million on Leon Osman instead.<br />
<br />This week, I found myself walking to work with a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tJoIaXZ0rw">spring in my step</a> at the mere thought of United buying Mata, a player we don't really need. Imagine what buying a central midfielder of real class would do to me. I'd probably explode.<br /><br />That said, I don't expect United to make any more major moves this month, with the signing of Mata likely to be an exception rather than the rule. Then again, nobody expected that Spanish acquisition, so anything is possible. <br /><br />I knew I'd shoe horn that Monty Python reference in.<br /><br /><img src="http://semiaccurate.com/assets/uploads/2012/03/I-See-What-You-Did-There..png" /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-23247946229380835642014-01-19T21:47:00.003+00:002014-01-20T11:05:43.565+00:00Things can only get better...right?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Hi everyone, thanks for coming out. Please stop laughing.</div>
<br />
It is often said that today, the third Monday in January, is the most depressing day of the year. Which means that, as far as my mood is concerned, things CAN get worse.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g4EXWVL4BsI/UtxBJJaAYaI/AAAAAAAAAEc/6xfzz5c__SQ/s1600/Moyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g4EXWVL4BsI/UtxBJJaAYaI/AAAAAAAAAEc/6xfzz5c__SQ/s1600/Moyes.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Could be worse, you could have David Moyes' 'sex face'.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I am of course speaking in the aftermath of Manchester United's chastening defeat at Chelsea yesterday. Emotions remain a little raw, being as I am a drowning United fan in a frigging ocean of Chelsea supporters. Seriously, I am friends with so many of them, it's like escaping a horde of blue-shirted zombies.<br />
<br />
But (I may have said this before) do you know what the most upsetting thing is? I'm not even that upset. Desperation has long since turned to despair and even that is now hurtling towards apathy faster than a Chelsea counter-attack on a beleaguered United defence.<br />
<br />
Like those tasked with identifying loved ones after a brutal battle in years gone by, I find myself picking up the pieces and searching for consolation among the wreckage of a broken dream and, in many ways, a broken team. If a title challenge was teetering on the edge of impossibility before yesterday's game, it has now been savagely kicked off the cliff, with a long, uncertain fall to come. That's right, United are Mufasa from the Lion King.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kNzjryae1Ds/UtxEREVcFNI/AAAAAAAAAEo/PTwoH2_o8J8/s1600/Mufasa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kNzjryae1Ds/UtxEREVcFNI/AAAAAAAAAEo/PTwoH2_o8J8/s1600/Mufasa.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because apparently you need an image to go with that analogy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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In fairness, United didn't play too badly. I can't accuse the players of a lack of effort or determination throughout the game, lining up as they did against a well drilled and well skilled Chelsea team. The fact is, ladies and gentleman, that we are not that good. With the exception of David De Gea and Adnan Januzaj, is there anyone in that team who you could describe as currently or potentially world-class? Not at all. We did not play badly and yet we were still comfortably beaten by a Chelsea team which, I hate to say, didn't even play that well.<br />
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And so, with the bleakest day of the year, or Blue Monday, now upon us, it is important to keep spirits up. Things can certainly get better, but things could definitely be worse. A win over Sunderland in midweek would see United into a cup final, which is worth celebrating, no matter how inevitable the impending defeat against Manchester City in the final would be. Should we get there. If you are hoping that this paragraph signals the beginning of hopeful, overpowering optimism, think again. This is as good as it gets.<br />
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Twelve days remain in this month's transfer window and at the risk of sounding like a spoilt child, United fans need things bought for us. The list of players who we haven't bought reads like a who's who of world football, and many more will be added before the month is out. In fact, I even took the time to build an entire team of players United have been linked with, but <i>haven't </i>bought this month.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7MUw0TZDjEg/Utw-77yOpOI/AAAAAAAAAD8/orZ5WnDZI30/s1600/52dc3ede47c73.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7MUw0TZDjEg/Utw-77yOpOI/AAAAAAAAAD8/orZ5WnDZI30/s1600/52dc3ede47c73.jpg" height="320" width="230" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, apparently even Vito Mannone won't join us.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Poor old David Moyes, he has spent the best part of the last week scouring southern Europe for the finest available talent, only to return empty-handed. Moyes must feel like one of the contestants on the TV show Coach Trip, travelling to the most exotic locations in Europe with people he barely likes, only to return with nothing to show for his efforts except for obscurity at best and humiliation at worst. That said, it is difficult to go on a scouting mission WHEN EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE THERE. Imagine if Moyes was a spy during the Cold War, he would've sent the world crashing into nuclear destruction within minutes.<br />
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It's not that I don't think he's trying. In fact, Moyes must often look at his players and think "what do I have to do to make you less shit?". Under Sir Alex Ferguson, performances were often this bad, but the results masked poor performances and limited players. Yesterday, United were shorn of Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie, who together form the world's most expensive wallpaper. In their absence, the huge cracks are starting to show.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1ShrCiVQaY/UtxAVd0DIFI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/iUMgZypZMeA/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1ShrCiVQaY/UtxAVd0DIFI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/iUMgZypZMeA/s1600/download.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How Moyes must be feeling right about now</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Not that this is altogether a bad thing. If players want to go, let them go. If players aren't good enough, we shouldn't be afraid to start again without them. In spite of what seems like a comprehensive defeat, United showed enough to suggest that things can improve with the right players. Danny Welbeck in particular is finally starting to do a little more than run around a bit, while Januzaj continues to leave me swooning and making excited gasps that a 23-year-old man really shouldn't make.<br />
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However, for United, a flock of chickens big enough to rival Venky's farms are coming home to roost and, like the Venky's were, United find themselves the laughing stock of football. Look at social media; if I had a pound for every David Moyes meme I saw, I would have enough money to bail out Greece, secure a Formula One drive AND buy United a midfielder or two. <br />
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In fact, the satire is probably the worst part of this sharp decline. The world is laughing at us, and our riposte is a comeback as futile as the one United tried to stage against Chelsea. For the next few months, it might be a good idea to board up the windows, turn off the lights and ride out this banter storm.<br />
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There is still time to turn this around. United's success was never going to last forever, but neither should this malaise. Although United are currently displaying all the urgency and direction of a back-tracking Ashley Young, action must be taken. If not, 'Blue Monday' may be just one of many depressing days in 2014: a year which is fast becoming United's Annus Horribilis.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-16345848616370081822013-12-08T21:48:00.000+00:002013-12-09T07:33:10.341+00:00WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Do you ever wish life had a reset button? I know I do.<br />
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Let me take you back four weeks, to the 10th of November, when Manchester United had just clung on to a 1-0 victory over Premier League leaders Arsenal; a win which looked to have ignited an already smouldering title race. That weekend, losses for Tottenham and Manchester City - coupled with Chelsea only managing a home draw with West Brom - meant United climbed to fifth, just five points of the leaders and heading into the international break with major confidence.<br />
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It is now 28 days later and, much like the survivors in the zombie film of the same name, United find themselves fearing for their own future as the members of their group turn on each other one by one, with previously benign foes now turned into malevolent, fearsome animals capable of tearing them to pieces at any moment.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="212" src="http://i3.irishmirror.ie/incoming/article2324907.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Manager-David-Moyes-shocked-2324907.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Yes David, my thoughts exactly</i></td></tr>
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Going back in time once again, this time to last Tuesday, I wrote an unbelievably good blog about how United fans should stick by David Moyes in spite of the troubles our team are facing. Two home defeats later, and United have fallen to ninth in the Premier League table, behind Everton, Newcastle and Southampton, those traditional powerhouses of English football. Indeed those three teams have taken a combined seven points from Old Trafford this season, with the former two teams claiming wins this week. These results have tested, but not broken my resolve to stand by Mr Moyes, but things have to start turning around soon. Being a United fan this season is a little like someone stuck in a dead end relationship, but moving out would mean homelessness; things are bad, but the alternative is far worse.<br />
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Supporting United this season has been a frustrating experience, although it is not (yet) one I will abandon. Yes, if our players could shoot as accurately at the goal as they do at their own feet, much of the gloom surrounding the club would be lifted, but football benefits from - not suffers for - its unpredictability. Besides, Arsenal have not won anything in eight years, and look how smug they are with a five-point lead in December.<br />
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I can't even say life as a United fan has been a struggle. Yes, the countless times when the team have been behind late in games has probably contributed to the inevitable baldness I will face later in life, but the team often, if not always, found a way to recover from disaster. Believe it or not everyone, United lost games under Sir Alex Ferguson. We often played this badly under Ferguson. And it is arguably because of Ferguson that our midfield is so short of quality and thus our team - built on an ethos of verve, speed and power - has become more predictable than a film starring Jason Statham, or the X Factor. <br />
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Moyes has made many mistakes, but he is by no means solely responsible for the gargantuan pile of despair, misery and ineptitude which we have come to associate with the last 6 months. He is the footballing equivalent of former England cricket coach Peter Moores: taking over a once proud but slowly sinking ship, trying desperately to impose himself on the side. Moores would famously leave his post after a 'disagreement' between himself and Kevin Pietersen, after famously blooding young 'stars' such as Sajid Mahmood and Liam Plunkett. But Moores' work has grown to be appreciated with time, perhaps Moyes' will.<br />
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<img height="240" src="http://preview.images.memegenerator.net/Instance/Preview?imageID=84688&generatorTypeID=&panels=&text0=not%20sure%20if%20fergie%20was%20a%20genius&text1=or%20if%20moyes%20is%20useless&text2=&text3=" width="320" /><br />
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Therefore, United's play this season has resembled a sort of strange, mass rendition of the Cha Cha Slide by the immortal DJ Casper (what happened to him?); moving sideways, somtimes forwards, before inevitably having to take it back now...ya'll. The whole thing (our season, not the Cha Cha Slide) is maddening, but there is always a game next week to get hopelessly optimistic about, before the inevitable decline into depression.<br />
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Just as United's title hopes were revived four weeks ago, they may receive a boost in a little over three weeks with the opening of the January transfer window. Whether Moyes will rectify the mistakes of the summer and actually buy a proper midfielder remains to be seen, but it is an opportunity to improve which surely must be taken. <br />
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That said, Marouane Fellaini - Moyes' most recent signing - is still trying to prove there is more to his repertoire than his past suggests, a bit like Daniel Radcliffe trying to convince everyone he is not Harry Potter. The £27.5 million (I know) player is clearly working hard, but still plays like an old man trying to intercept a chicken. The man is more than a little slow and the need to buy again could not be more obvious.<br />
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And to be fair to Moyes, he seems aware of the gravity of the situation, carrying as he does the constant look of a man who has been bought tickets to Live at the Apollo, only to learn that the headline act is Lenny Henry. His main problem was always going to concern moments like these, when players so accustomed to winning were having to take motivation from a man who has won absolutely nothing. Do you remember at school when you found out that the teacher you always feared was sick and some poor bugger straight out of university was taking the class instead? That is how the United dressing room must feel right now.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/08/article-2321170-19AF673C000005DC-107_306x423.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"It's gonna blow!"</i></td></tr>
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So who can United buy in January - or indeed the summer - to turn things around? Well, they only really need a left-back, a young centre-back, two central midfielders (one creative, one combative), a skilful winger and maybe an extra striker. Fittingly, as it's Christmas, the list reads a bit like the famous song 'Santa Baby' by Eartha Kitt (thanks Wikipedia), so "Moyesy baby, slip Khedira under the tree, for me" seems oddly appropriate, if more than a little weird.<br />
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However, for the foreseeable future, I don't really have much choice other than to ride the bad times out and hope for better days. After all, the season ends in just five months, and then there will be England's traditional World Cup collapse to look forward to. Hopefully, Moyes and co won't be too focused on that competition and will instead do their homework better than they did this summer, when United loudly bragged about being being close to signing a number of players, not noticing that the clubs to whom they belonged were laughing at them, much like a man who hasn't realised he has walked out of a toilet with paper stuck to his shoe and his flies open.<br />
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From a positive point of view, United are a few good signings away from being an amazing team. With some excellent youngsters pushing through and money apparently available to spend, there is no reason why United can't compete again for years to come. However, at this rate, we look more likely to lose talent than gain it. But it's Christmas, chins have to be raised. Peace to all mankind and all that bollocks.<br />
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Things will get better, but they may have to get worse first.<br />
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Or, better yet, hopefully I'll just wake up.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-84744329513651449222013-12-03T21:59:00.001+00:002013-12-04T11:13:51.769+00:00Moyes will be MoyesA little under seven months ago, as the rain hammered down at an emotional Old Trafford, Sir Alex Ferguson addressed the famous old ground for one final time. While the tributes poured in and past glories were recounted, one small but not insignificant request was made: for the United fans to stand by their new manager. And most of us did...for a bit.<br />
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When news of Ferguson's imminent retirement reached me, I remember waking up in a Derby hotel room (don't ask me why I was in Derby, let's just say my early career path has taken me to some weird and wonderful places) feeling a strange mix of fear and confusion, a bit like being stuck in one of those 'naked' dreams. Ferguson's tenure as United boss far exceeded my time on this earth, so the idea of him being replaced was one I struggled to come to terms with. I felt like a kid whose parents had divorced and I would be forced to put up with my Mum's new man, even calling him 'Dad' while he awkwardly attempted to build bridges between us.<br />
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When my new 'Dad' (I'm going to see how far I can take this analogy) was announced as David Moyes, I was unsure of how to react, but looking back I now feel the right decision was made, even if United currently sit eighth in the Premier League. In the aftermath of Fergie's retirement, I said a few things I didn't mean out of grief and confusion - you know how it is. I even yearned for Chelsea's current boss Jose Mourinho, but looking back, the right decision was probably made.<br />
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"How have you come to that conclusion?" I hear all three of you ask?<br />
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Have you ever looked at your two favourite foods and thought: "if only I could combine them"? I had, until I realised that steak and ice cream is not a desirable mix. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes what you think will be a match made in heaven actually gives you food poisoning. Mourinho ended up going to Chelsea, and that is a move that suits both the manager and the club. Mourinho is the globe trotting mercenary, achieving success for the highest bidder, while Chelsea are just that - the perpetual highest bidder. The two deserve each other.<br />
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United, on the other hand, like Scottish managers. Perfect.<br />
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So why have United struggled under Moyes so far? Well, their cause wasn't helped by a summer transfer window which promised much but delivered very little. Ferguson's departure actually left an opportunity for United to improve. For all the great man had achieved, there were suggestions that he was losing his touch, in his tactics if not with his motivation, so United had a chance to add a few new players of real class. In the end, Moyes managed to spend almost £30 million on a player who has not improved a midfield which already had less flair than Lidl toilet paper. Still, United must have recouped most of that investment in wig sales alone by now...<br />
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So, without strengthening United's greatest weakness, the team were hardly going to get better. How much of United's pathetic transfer window is down to Moyes alone is open to debate, but the man ended up looking a bit like Jay from Inbetweeners, making large statements he was unable - or unwilling - to back up. In fact, although this analogy has been done to death, he really did look like the guy who tried to pull all the best looking women at the party, but ended up with the host's aunt.<br />
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So United were left with a strong, but vulnerable squad and in Ferguson's absence, the players were left without the Fergie factor which often conjured that crucial extra 5% from them. Think about it, this was a man who got Tom Cleverley and Danny Welbeck into the England team on the basis of them winning the Premier League. And nothing else. Moyes hasn't quite developed this ability yet, but he is starting to make progress.<br />
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But we did lose at home to West Brom.<br />
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That said, those predicting a total collapse from United are probably jumping to conclusions. Sure, a title triumph may be beyond the team this season and even next, but so what. As United fans, we have been spoilt for a long time, with success taken for granted. Our new Dad isn't going to deliver straight away, he needs to unpack all his things and do other step dad related stuff. There's still time for him to take us to the park, pick us up from school and buy us KFC. In this analogy, this means PLAY SHINJI KAGAWA AND NEVER LET ASHLEY YOUNG ANYWHERE NEAR A UNITED SHIRT.<br />
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Tomorrow, Moyes leads his new side out to play against his former team, Everton. In many ways, I expected Everton to cope worse without Moyes than we would without Ferguson, but the Merseysiders approach the game ahead of United in the Premier League table and looking to deliver a potentially fatal blow to United's title bid. Moyes himself had an annoying knack of inspiring Everton to amazing performances at Old Trafford. In fact, their 4-4 draw at the ground in 2012 still causes me to wake up at all hours of the night screaming in anguish and biting my fist until it bleeds.<br />
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For United, it is arguably a must win game, not just for the three points, but also because it would be good for Moyes to draw a line under his past and look to his future. As United fans, we are going to have to do the same. Stand by your man guys, stand by your man.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-955630429114768232013-12-02T20:03:00.001+00:002013-12-03T11:48:44.993+00:00Second Ashes Test previewSorry for the underwhelming title, but the fact is I've been stewing over a headline for over three hours, and I had to just get something written down, so there it is.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;"><br />A little over eight days ago, I woke up to see that England had been unceremoniously beaten, bruised and bullied. In fact, the humiliation would only have been worse if Mitchell Johnson had put his finger in his mouth and placed it in the England batsmen's ears, before giving them all atomic wedgies. Of course, comparing Mr Johnson to a school bully is rather ironic considering that, throughout the First Test, he sported a moustache which screamed 'do not trust me with children'. </span></div>
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<img src="http://i.imgflip.com/569ag.jpg" /><br />
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So how do England fight back? Graham Gooch, the England batting coach suggests that the game plan is to simply 'play better', but they will have to do so without Jonathan Trott, who has had to return home due to a stress-related illness. That said, how much England will miss Trott is open to debate, given that his form was worse than mine during a bench press attempt. The same goes for most of England's top order, of whom only Ian Bell is in anything like decent touch.<br />
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In Brisbane, England's problems centred around their inability to cope with the pace and bounce of Johnson and Ryan Harris, while Peter Siddle snarled a lot. However, given that the pitch in Adelaide is expected to be slower than a Gary Barlow sentence, Australia's pace attack ought to be blunted, giving England's beleaguered batsmen a chance to score a run or two. However, everyone said the pitch in Brisbane was flat, but England's batsmen ended up resembling the John Fisher Under 12 B team, the school XI for whom I batted at number four. And I once walked out with a chest pad and an arm guard...but without a bat.<br />
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Three years ago, England ran out comfortable winners here (I say 'here', I'm actually in an air-conditioned office in West London, not a swanky hotel in South Australia) thanks to a double-hundred from Kevin Pietersen and a first morning collapse from the Australians on a pitch flatter than Kate Moss. England will need similar bursts of inspiration if they are to overcome the hosts this time around, although given their batting displays of the last twelve months, that seems unlikely.<br />
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On balance, England's first XI is, to a man, better than Australia's, but the hosts seem to have stumbled upon a winning strategy on the field, coupled with a strong siege mentality and all the paranoia of Andre Villas-Boas in an Amsterdam cafe off it. When in form, England's batsmen and spinner are far better than what Australia can offer, while the Aussies have a better pace attack and are better at swearing at people.<br />
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<img height="111" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" width="200" /> Not sure why I added this, it just seemed funny.<br />
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All of which brings me onto my next point: sledging. Sledging is the politically correct way of saying 'being a twat', much in the same way that Rugby players define sexually outrageous acts on team mates as 'banter'. Of course, while Australia were shit over the last couple of years, sledging took a back seat while they quietly took their beatings, with the crowds staying away for fear of having to support their team through a difficult spell. Now that the team is half-decent, the crowds have returned and so have the verbal blows.<br />
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Not that I'm complaining. If Australia gain an advantage from hurling abuse at the opposition, then fair play to them. I think it's time England fought back with some aggression of their own, either through some witty put-downs or just by straight up punching Mitchell Johnson in his irritating rat face. <br />
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Too often you hear pundits say banal nonsense like "let's just hope there isn't any ill feeling or controversy". Bollocks. I want to see both teams going at each other from the outset. I want to see a total breakdown in diplomatic relations between England and Australia. In fact, I want to see both sets of players in a jungle in a Hunger Games/Battle Royale type scenario. That said, given that Peter Siddle is terrifying as it is and eats nothing but bananas, he would probably emerge victorious, parading a smiling Joe Root's head on a spike.<br />
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<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRC3FumsFWcO603ANlgSWVp0sILKFY8lrqNQ6PJRk0EuYhtTdtp" /><br />
<i>Peter Siddle in 'sex face' mode</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1422219380946209352" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1422219380946209352" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1422219380946209352" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1422219380946209352" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1422219380946209352" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>I guess what I'm trying to say between hypotheticals is that the edge that Australia have brought to this series is what has made it such a fascinating contest. Without it, Australia would be having to rely on talent alone. Therefore, England have a choice of either turning the other cheek in a delightfully English way and playing some bloody fine cricket on the field, or going toe-to-toe in the sledging stakes.<br />
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As for personnel, Australia are likely to stick with the same side which did the damage at the Gabba, while England will need to make at least one change, given Trott's absence. They are likely to go with Jonny Bairstow, that guy who batted well against South Africa once. As for the bowlers, James Anderson and Stuart Broad will be hoping to be joined by a third seamer capable of actually...you know...getting people out. England's bowling attack of the last few months has been a bit like the Sugababes; constantly changing personnel but unable to find the right formula. Leaving that crap analogy behind, expect Chris Tremlett - picked because he was tall - to be replaced by either the returning Tim Bresnan or Peter Crouch.<br />
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In two days time, we will see what England have in their locker. If Australia continue where they left off in Brisbane, then a 2-0 lead - and thus the prospect of me simultaneously crying and vomiting into my cereal - is extremely likely. I still feel England will get back into the contest and are still slight favourites to retain the Ashes. Indeed, the hallmark of the current side is to respond well to crushing defeats, and they will have to do the same in Adelaide, or Johnson and co will streak away to an Ashes victory.<br />
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And that's just not cricket.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-59139888707097813182013-09-19T13:48:00.000+01:002013-09-19T13:48:15.946+01:00The Qatar's out of the bag nowA terrible pun, whatever will I write next? Bad jokes and little asides in brackets?<br /><br />I digress. Gather round everyone, I was going to talk about the Manchester Derby and spurt about two thousands words of nonsense in your direction, but I won't. Why?<br /><br />Because the World Cup in 2022 is going to be held in Qatar. That's why.<br /><br />The above sentence makes me think three things:<br />1. That's bloody ridiculous<br />2. Why aren't more people satirising this?<br />3. I must satirise this!<br /><br />Of course, this Qatar thing has been known for about three years now, but today it appears that Europe's top leagues and clubs have consented to allow the world's biggest summer competition to be held in winter.<br /><br />Before - like a fat kid rolling down a hill - I start this post/rant and then find it difficult to stop, I will acknowledge a few mitigating factors:<br /><br />Yes, to hold the World Cup in the same two continents over and over again is detrimental to the world game, and new countries in less 'traditional' football continents should be allowed to host this most prestigious competition. This hasn't happened enough in recent years, except when USA hosted the competition in 1994...and Japan and Korea did in 2002...and South Africa did in 2010. To give the competition to an entirely new country is an idea to be commended, but what was wrong with Australia's bid?<br /><br />OK, so there's only one mitigating factor.<br /><br /><br />Without sounding like a right-wing leaning, tabloid-consuming, prejudice-spurting idiot, there is no way a country like Qatar should be hosting this tournament.<br /><br />Even if you forget the political tension in the Middle-East at the moment, forget the country's views on alcohol consumption and homosexual relations, and the billion degree heat, there are still more holes in the organisation of this tournament than a paper condom, with half the effectiveness.<br /><br />And do you know what? It's not even Qatar's fault.<br /><br />Qatar invested a lot of time and money into this bid and are currently embarking on a very ambitious project to 'get their country on the map' through bids for major sporting events, including a (failed) bid for the 2020 Olympics. It's a bit like Manchester City trying to buy the Premier League, only with greater implications. They are well within their rights to do whatever they want. Which is where FIFA come in.<br /><br />Now, this is not typically English whinging because we didn't get the 2018 World Cup. This isn't being wise after the event with Captain Hindsight levels of "I told you so". Besides, I'm mostly Scottish. Now, while that technically doesn't mean I am qualified to talk about football, it does mean that I'm not being...well, English.<br /><br />Forgive my suspicion, but isn't it strange that a very ambitious bid from a group of men with a lot of money and influence won the right to host this tournament? Particularly when said country has very little football pedigree (go on, name one Qatari footballer), has a climate which makes summer football impossible and a current lack of top-class football stadia. It's almost like FIFA were persuaded by another factor. Almost.<br /><br />Unfortunately, money does play a big role in modern football. Look at the Premier League's wealth and it's arguably detrimental effect on English football. Look at Portsmouth and Rangers, who spent so much money just to compete and ended up like the sporting equivalent of Kerry Katona. It's not really about the game anymore, it's about business now. It's not just the clubs who are now concerned with the 'bottom-line' either, it appears the organisations are too.<br /><br />Why men who are supposedly much smarter than you and I couldn't predict this scenario is staggering. I remember the day that it was announced Qatar would host the World Cup. I actually forgot Qatar were bidding for the tournament. I thought they were the token rubbish attempt to make up the numbers, a bit like Great Britain at the European Song Contest or Lukasz Fabianski. When I found out they had won, I walked slowly upstairs and punched my pillow for about three days. That anger then turned to incredulity and then curiosity as to how this would all work. The truth is, nobody even knows now, in spite of the apparently inevitable conclusion.<br /><br />So, it appears that the World Cup will be moved to the northern hemisphere's winter. In the simplest terms, that is not a problem. Indeed, why should Europe dictate the state of the world game? Why should smaller countries not be given the chance to represent themselves on the world stage?<br /><br />But then, why did Australia not propose a winter World Cup? Why do we have a summer World Cup in the first place? Why should the five or six most powerful leagues in the world now have to radically overhaul their schedule to accommodate one tournament, then radically overhaul them again when it is over? Doesn't make sense does it?<br /><br />The whole episode feels like a teenager who has not done his coursework despite having had months to do so. It's a bit like said teenager realised his work was flimsy, so added a load of pretty fonts and pictures to distract attention from the utter shambles which has been submitted. Luckily, like that teenager, there is time to turn this around, but it looks like it will take the mother of all all-nighters and waffling conclusions to make it work.<br /><br />Anyway, that is my rant over. The bad thing is, this a giant mess caused by a giant organisation. The good thing is, we have a giant organisation trying to sort it out.<br /><br />Good luck with that.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-26104825786874669972013-09-05T13:10:00.001+01:002013-09-05T17:56:56.654+01:00Premier League 2013/14 - What we've learnt so farAs the football world hurtles head-on toward the tedium of an international break, it has given us poor Premier League fans the opportunity to take stock of the opening fixtures of a season which has already provided a number of surprises and talking-points.<br />
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With that in mind, here is my ten-point analysis of the season so far. This analysis may stretch to twelve points if something comes to me midway through, or I may struggle to get past eight points if I get hungry and leave it. (Edit this paragraph - it's a little crap)<br />
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<b>1. Manchester United have no midfield</b><br />
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OK, that may be a little misleading...many of us have known this for a little while. So far, I have had the pleasure of watching United's thrilling 0-0 draw with Chelsea and a rollercoaster 1-0 loss to Liverpool this season and each match led to the above conclusion.<br />
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For vast swathes (yes, swathes) of each match, the United midfield was about as populated as a comedy night in Berlin. Other than the excellent Michael Carrick, there is not much else. Tom Cleverley is willing but limited, yet remains the second best central midfielder available. Ryan Giggs is 39, Anderson has got really fat, really fast and Darren Fletcher is feeling a little poorly. A friend of mine recently said that in many ways, the fate of a billion pound company rests upon the bowel movements of a Scotsman, which is precarious at best.<br />
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Why this midfield malaise remains untreated, I have no idea. I can only assume that either United are insisting upon a tactical revolution - the 4-1-5 formation - or David Moyes was once both attacked by a malevolent, evil playmaker, leading him to vow never to play one for United.<br />
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Either that, or Shinji Kagawa has slept with his wife.<br />
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<b>2. Jose Mourinho is still Jose Mourinho</b><br />
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Upon his return to England, Jose Mourinho - he of the self-appointed nickname - gave himself the moniker 'The Happy One', citing a change in his outlook on football, causing every journalist in England to moan in orgasmic delight. Would this mean a change in Mourinho's tactical view of the game?<br />
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No. Even three years managing Cristiano Ronaldo, Mesut Ozil and Xabi Alonso have not altered the attention-seeking one's approach. Chelsea's game against United went some way to proving this, with Mourinho insisting upon a formation with neither a striker nor Juan Mata. He also arrived in West London not satisfied with the number of attacking midfielders at his disposal, so he bought a few more...and there is still no flair in that side. <br />
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Not that I'm being 'the moany one', give me a 1-0 win over a 4-4 draw any day...but while you're at it Jose, perhaps you could spot us one of your 7 playmakers?</div>
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<b>3. Arsenal went from being the worst team in England to the best in two weeks.</b><br />
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It's been quite a transformation for Arsenal since that dire 3-1 home loss to Aston Villa on the opening day. They have gone on to record a staggering four wins in a row since that match, which had prompted many an Arsenal fan to react in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gSFEaI4HdA">typically level-headed, balanced fashion</a>.<br />
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The signing of Mesut Ozil and a win over Tottenham has seen them confident of this at last being their year to win a trophy. Ozil in particular looks like a great signing. If there was one thing Arsenal needed, it was a midfielder who could pick a pass, keep possession and not track back.<br />
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Again, please do not read too much into my sarcasm Arsenal fans. Ultimately, your team are placed higher than mine in the table, and you bought Mesut Ozil, a player I would consider getting a proper job for.<br />
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<b>4. LIVERPOOL ARE BACK!</b><br />
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Well, kinda. They sit top of the Premier League after three games and look set to go on a rampaging march to the Premier League title, inspired solely by Daniel Sturridge winners in 1-0 victories.<br />
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The absence of Luis Suarez has not hindered Liverpool one bit, and in some ways, it is not difficult to see why. Suarez, for all his abundant quality, became a big fish in a small pond at Liverpool and actually ended up diluting the qualities of Lucas and Henderson, which is unthinkable. <br />
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Add into the mix the Uruguayan's fondness for controversy and the taste of human flesh, and the team have actually seemed more focused in his absence. Coutinho and 'Renault' Aspas have been outstanding behind Sturridge and although their luck is bound to run out at some point, Liverpool could be contenders to go all the way to the final of the Top Four Cup.<br />
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<b>5. Tottenham without Gareth Bale are...</b><br />
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Other than really, really rich? A little dull to be honest. I do not doubt the assertion of many Spurs fans that the team may actually benefit without Bale, but they are certainly less fun to watch. One could argue that Tottenham are not only a better XI without the Welshman, but an actual XI, given Bale Hostpur's performances last year.This is likely to be a good thing...eleven players are usually better than one.<br />
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The signings of Soldado, Paulinho and Eriksen in particular look like brilliant buys, and don't be surprised to see Spurs challenge for the title. Until about February. When it all falls apart. And Arsenal pip them at the end. Again.<br />
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<b>6. Manchester City are still hopeless away from home</b><br />
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When I was about six years old, I asked my Dad why Man United had beaten Southampton so easily at home but been beaten at The Dell.<br />
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He went on to explain that, quite simply, away games are harder than home games, for a number of reasons too dull to write down but too important to totally overlook. In spite of this, City still don't seem to have learnt this lesson. Their title 'defence' - for want of a better word - last season was undermined by shocking away form, and they have already lost to newly-promoted Cardiff in Wales. It's all well and good panelling teams at home, but victories only ever get you three points, no matter where or how comfortably they are obtained.<br />
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That's my advice City, you can thank me later</div>
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<b>7. Paolo Di Canio is actually pretty useless</b><br />
Of course, if this particular blog goes viral, Di Canio is likely to hunt me down and murder me, the bloody psycho. But not racist psycho. Fascist psycho. There's a difference apparently.<br />
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It goes to show that yelling at your players and scaring the shit out of them is a pretty good tactic in League One and for over-zealous parents in Little League, but at the top level, some tactical nous is required. Example: England at Euro 2012. Example: England at World Cup 2010. Example: England not at Euro 2008.<br />
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Di Canio just about managed to frighten his players to safety last season, but they look in trouble already this year, in spite of the 39 players the Italian brought in, possibly to compensate for the fines, bans and beatings he is likely to impose over the next nine months.<br />
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<b>8. Joe Kinnear is more useless</b></div>
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Seriously, what is the point of him? Is he part of some plan between the North East clubs to see who can humiliate themselves more?<br />
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The guy who was brought in to aid transfer business...didn't. That's basically it. He had ONE job and has gone about pursuing an obviously unknown remit, which I suspect is seeing how many Geordies he can wind up before he is booted out of the city for good.<br />
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<b>9. Premier League teams are really rich</b></div>
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Premier League teams spent £630m this summer, which is enough to give everyone in England a tenner, or £200m more than the GDP of Tonga.<br />
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How did they get so much money? Well, firstly through TV deals and secondly through their ability to milk fans dry. Nothing will be done about either of these while the marketing is so good - it is the best league in the world after all - and the football is so frustratingly and compellingly average. There will come a time when the bubble bursts but, like my attitude towards toasters and knives, until something catastrophic happens, no action will be taken.<br />
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<b>10. The Premier League is still pretty exciting</b><br />
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As the most nervous football fan in the world, I spent most of the summer actually enjoying the Premier League's absence. Why? Not because I find the league dull, but because I find it gut-wrenchingly (apparently that isn't a word) gripping. The drama, the twists and - in the nicest way - the gradually declining quality makes for unpredictable, enchanting viewing, which I can do without most of the time, both for the sake of my health and my relationships with the people who I care about. After all, nobody wants to see a loved one crying their eyes out or with fingernails sharp enough to cut steak.<br />
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But, I'm afraid it's going to be this way until May, so we may as well enjoy it for what it is.<br />
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Premier League, welcome back.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-20548489967851804372013-04-07T21:02:00.003+01:002013-04-08T19:58:47.711+01:00The Manchester Derby: Nothing to pay for?Hello again everyone, two things have given me the impetus to write tonight's blog.<br />
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1) I don't think enough people are covering tonight's match between Manchester United and Manchester City<br />
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2) Justin Bieber has 37 million more Twitter followers than me, and that has to be addressed sometime, what does he have that I don't? For what it's worth, Bieber has more followers than fellow countrymen. Spooky.<br />
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Oh yeah, 3) My girlfriend might start a blog soon and I find it of huge importance that I reassert my dominance in the literary stakes, particularly after we don't play '4 words 1 pic' anymore. As my profile picture suggests, I don't bring the looks, I bring the books.<br />
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Anyway, much to the chagrin of the nation's media, tonight's match will be more of demonstration derby than a demolition derby, not that I as a United fan am too bothered. Hell, City may even win, and I won't be too upset, it will be the footballing equivalent of Nick Clegg beating David Cameron in a race to the trousers shop. Now that I have made a mediocre attempt at political satire, let's talk sports.<br />
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A few weeks ago, this game was scheduled for that hotbed of footballing activity - Monday night at 8pm - in the hope of driving fans to incontinence from the high stakes, tension and significance. Of course, the hoped pivotal nature of the game in the title race would drive 'The Three H's' of football broadcasting: hype, hype and hype. If you want a more pertinent example of this, see this year's Battle Royale for that most coveted of sporting glories - Fourth Place.<br />
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But the championship battle hasn't turned out that way. Unfortunately for the broadcasters, City's form has stuttered while United have been imperious, stretching an already worrying advantage into an almost certainly decisive one. So the media have zoned in on the other subplot - the 'local' significance. But is there really any of that? In United's case, fans from all over the world will tune into the game at crazy hours to watch their team play, while all over Lancashire, City's fans will do the same at, admittedly, a still crazy hour. <br />
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It is no more a regional battle, football has changed. I mean, I support United and as I am constantly reminded, I am from London. Indeed, do you know the statistic that at any time in London, you are no more than five metres from a rat? You are probably only four metres away from a United fan. No comparisons please.<br />
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<b>The contest</b><br />
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Anyway, the game. United can take an 18 point lead with victory and ensure that the title can be won as early as next Wednesday. However, at the end of a season which once promised so much, the expectation upon the champions-elect to secure the seemingly inevitable may affect their performance. Alternatively, the United players may see the game as a coronation; an opportunity to justify their commanding lead and to remind City of the improvement required to reclaim the crown. And that means doing a little more than signing Scott Sinclair.<br />
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As for City, an imminent FA Cup semi-final aside, their season has been relatively poor. In spite of a tough group, they were woeful in the Champions League and the defence of their title has been more pathetic than my current attempt to look busy - I'm actually at work right now. However, the game may present a chance to return to the old days, when the derby was like a cup final, when the opportunity to scupper or derail a United title charge was one to be taken with both hands.<br />
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I personally think the game will be low-key and cagey, with United perhaps less concerned with grasping the opportunity than, more importantly, not blowing it. On the other hand, City appear unsure of whether to look forward or back and an uncertainty has seemed to pervade through the club for most of the season. Most City fans will probably agree, they as fans are simply not yet used to success, perhaps the same goes for the players<br />
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It is probably my defeatism which leads me to predict a rather dour game, but I would not be surprised if it takes the complexion of a relegation dogfight, but with Samir Nasri thrown in. But don't take my word for it, I'm so nervous and pessimistic that I punched the air in relief at safely getting into bed last night, I'm hopeful I will be wrong.<br />
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<b>The context</b><br />
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I still remember the corresponding fixture from last season when City tore United apart - mostly in stoppage time and with the handy deployment of 'the sweaty goal' - to record a 6-1 victory which still gives me sleepless nights. Perhaps of greater significance was City's win at the Etihad Stadium six months later, claiming a 1-0 victory on their way to a first championship since 1754. If the 6-1 defeat gives me selective insomnia, don't get me started on the manner in which City actually won the title...<br />
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Ok, I got started. While the nation's commentators were doing their best impressions of the male orgasm to accompany Sergio Aguero's goal, I was checking my phone for confirmation of the horrible truth, hoping that throwing it at a wall would make it all Ok. It didn't, and I remain emotionally scarred and without a fully functioning phone. In Salford and 'red' Manchester, there will forever be 'anomalies' in the sales figures of anti-depressants for May 2012. Meanwhile in China, there was probably a puzzling and dramatic increase in the number of Manchester United shirts with 'Aguero' on the back.<br />
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Looking forward, for us United fans, winning tonight would give us a brief sense of calm in a storm of uncertainty brought about by City's sudden rise to prominence. We all pretend to not be concerned by City's financial power, saying that Financial Fair Play will put paid (pun intended) to that (will it f**k) or that their position as current champions, is likely to be brief. But in reality, I'm sure most of us feel the same as me, lying awake at night in the foetal position and crying softly, waiting for that day when last May's demons can be exorcised, at least in the short-term. It matters a lot more than most of us care to admit.<br />
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I may have gone full circle in the space of one short article, but yes, tonight's match does matter. To a natural pessimist like myself - and thus my opinion is essentially void - it isn't over until it's over, but even to the realist, the sooner the day that red - and not blue - ribbons are on the Premier League trophy, the better. Those bragging rights I mentioned earlier may not be at stake, but the smug satisfaction - currently in the ownership of those at the Etihad - is. I need that false sense of superiority and achievement (derived from my own inability to do something for myself) to help me enjoy the summer. <br />
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With the weather finally perking up recently, starting tonight, hopefully that summer starts early.<br />
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By the way, if you are coming here from BBC Sport after my epic spamming, thanks for reading and I hope I didn't waste your time! Additionally, from that same page, please watch the interview with Owen Hargreaves, how strange is his accent?!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-7106215059311216582013-02-05T14:15:00.002+00:002013-02-05T14:16:31.283+00:00Flappy paddles and Vanity panelsAhhh Formula One, we have missed you. It has only been two months since Jenson Button limped over the line at the end of a brilliant Brazilian Grand Prix and 2012 season, but it seems like so much longer. <br />
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In that time, us Formula One fans have lived a hollow existence, absentmindedly walking the streets early on Sunday mornings, making vaguely 'F1ish' noises, or shouting "LIGHTS OUT, AWAY WE GO" when the microwave gets to zero. <br />
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In fact, on my walk to work, I now employ a 'racing line' to get to the train station as quickly as possible and throw my hands in the air when slowed by a back-marker (pensioner). I even try to be the first to react when the lights flash on the train doors to let me off that sweaty, angst-filled metal tube...much like a Formula One car.<br />
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This time last year, I wrote a <a href="http://doug-elder.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/massa-man-to-beat-as-f1-prepares-to.html">pretty decent piece</a> proclaiming Felipe Massa to be the man to beat in 2012 and the master of the universe in general. My thoughts have changed slightly for the 2013 season, for three main reasons: Sebastian Vettel and Red Bull are just too bloody good, Felipe Massa isn't actually the master of the universe and I used up all my best jokes in that article. Yes, THAT was the peak of my powers.<br />
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So, what can we realistically expect from 2013? Here's my take on it, strap yourself in for a hilarious* preview of the year ahead.<br />
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* Probably mildly amusing at best, like when someone says 'lol' via digital communication or Russell Brand.<br />
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I should just say at this point that if you want a detailed analysis and genuinely worthwhile predictions from someone who knows what they are talking about, please go elsewhere. Here is my team-by-team guide.<br />
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<b>Red Bull</b><br />
Quite simply the antithesis of funniness. How on earth am I meant to blog about the unpredictable, amusing nature of Formula One when this team keeps bloody winning everything. And this team is Austrian. Name me one funny thing that has been influenced by Austria, other than Arnold Schwarzenegger's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRH-Ywpz1_I">hilarious performance</a> as Mr Freeze in 'Batman & Robin'. Exactly, nothing.<br />
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With three straight victories in the Driver and Constructors Championships, it is difficult to see beyond Red Bull making it number four. Unless Mark Webber does what we all know he yearns to do and takes Sebastian Vettel out in at least two of the races. And even then it'll be close. <br />
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With a multitude of tracks suiting the characteristics of the 'typical' Red Bull car, there should be enough opportunities to secure maximum points on any given weekend, making your painful early morning rise utterly fruitless. In fact, the team are even pushing for a re-introduction to the calendar of the AUSTRIAN Grand Prix...AT THE <b>'RED BULL RING'</b> FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!<br />
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<b>Ferrari</b><br />
I honestly don't know what to expect from Ferrari this year. With Fernando Alonso guaranteed to have said the word 'maximum' at least 638 times over the winter, there is no doubt the team will have tried to provide a car which isn't...you know, hopeless. Not that this really matters to Mr Alonso, who could probably drive my dad's Toyota Avensis to a string of podiums if given the chance. The problem is the man I once deemed indestructible - Felipe Massa. Once again, the Brazilian appeared to turn the corner (the minimum requirement of a Formula One driver) at the end of last season. The problem is, knowing Massa, he probably turned that corner, only to go terribly wide at the next. <br />
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Unlikely to produce two poor cars in a row, the team should be near the top and if they are within half a second of Red Bull's pace, expect Alonso to really push Vettel (and Webber, at his customary two solid races) to the limit. That if is bigger than Alonso's eyebrows though.<br />
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<b>McLaren</b><br />
Once again, the Woking team appear to have produced a very strong car to start the season, but that was only good enough for third place overall last year. With the absence of Lewis Hamilton likely to affect the overall performance of the team, it will be interesting season for McLaren. With Jenson Button and Sergio Perez likely to battle over who can make the least pit-stops, it could be that if the car is gentle enough on its tyres, McLaren could challenge at circuits which are typically demanding on the rubber (no sex jokes please), like Canada and China. <br />
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Even people who are qualified to make predictions will struggle to call McLaren's season, so I ought to have no chance, but I see them having a really strong year, particularly if the team can get the car working to the precise conditions Button demands. That said, they had thirteen years to get used to Lewis' favourite settings, and instead provided cars that often fell apart or had gearboxes made of clay.<br />
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<b>Lotus</b><br />
The team have talked the talk by aiming for a top-three finish, and who is to say they can't do it? Well, me. I personally think the aforementioned teams will be too strong, particularly if Romain Grosjean hasn't got over his penchant for hitting more sidepods than apexes. With Kimi Raikkonen showing remarkable consistency last year, he could be in line for another strong season. With a year under his belt after his comeback, he may shed the caution which often cost the Finn more points. Usually kind on their tyres, it could be a strong year for Lotus, but I just can't see it, at least not yet.<br />
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<b>Mercedes</b><br />
Ahh Mercedes, what do we think? In my opinion, more of the same really. Lewis Hamilton arrives from McLaren and may be able to add a few tenths to boost the team, but it is more likely to only mean the difference between seventh and fourth than anything else. The British driver may be able to deliver the odd podium and victory which ought to be beyond his Silver Arrow, but a championship challenge appears unlikely, which probably means more testy post-race interviews and the return of that famous scowl.<br />
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Of course, we are forgetting Nico Rosberg, who is an outstanding driver and has the intelligence to ensure the team stay on his side if necessary. If Rosberg was only able to extract one win from this car last season, I find it difficult to imagine Lewis working miracles, although many of my fellow Hamilton 'fanboys' will argue differently. <br />
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Some of my 'contacts' (one person I spoke to once) thinks Hamilton could be the difference - and more - between mediocrity and consistent challenges for victories. I disagree, but I do see a season a little better than last for Mercedes, perhaps fighting Lotus for fourth place in the championship. I think their focus is on 2014, when loads of complicated rules come in and prevents us fans from really knowing what exactly is going on.<br />
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<b>The midfield</b><br />
Because I know you are all bored of reading this now, I'm going to make this brief. To be honest, I'm getting bored of writing it! By midfield, I mean Sauber, Force India, Williams and Toro Rosso, and none of them appear too capable of building on what were encouraging seasons last year.<br />
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Sauber, thanks mostly to the outgoing Perez, had a great season last year. Although Nico Hulkenberg is also a very good driver, can he continue that level of performance? Time will tell. Esteban Gutierrez looks promising too, but I think with regulations stable for this season, Sauber are unlikely to have the same impact they had last season, when Perez secured three podiums for the team. <br />
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Force India were very consistent last season, with Paul Di Resta driving well for the first half of the year, before allowing Nico Hulkenberg to dominate him in the second. With Hulkenberg gone, as a Scot, I will be hoping Di Resta can take his chance as team leader and deliver more strong results, although his teammate is yet to be decided. I think, I don't research much.<br />
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Williams scored their first victory since 2004 with Pastor Maldonado - that loveable chap - taking the win in Spain, before their performances tailed off and they ended up in eighth place in the Constructor's Championship, thanks in part to Maldonado's carelessness as well as his occasional brilliance. With Bruno Senna replaced by Valtteri Bottas...I don't know who that is or where I'm going with that point, so I will leave that sentence there.<br />
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And then we have Toro Rosso, who I think will finish ninth again. I know, how profound.<br />
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<b>The new teams</b><br />
Who aren't new anymore. I think the excuses now have to stop for Marussia and Caterham, who are going to have to step up or step away. With HRT going bust - before a legion of fans kicked them out themselves - we are left with eleven teams, which should actually help the quality of the racing...slightly. <br />
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I think - again - that Caterham can finally secure a point, while I see another season of struggle for Marussia. Max Chilton makes his debut in the Marussia this year, and it will be interesting to see how he gets on, but what is likely to be a slow car may limit his opportunities to impress. As I said, the excuses have to stop now and the points have to start coming in, or these teams will be long forgotten.<br />
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So there we have it, Formula One is back, and I am back with it, hurrah!<br />
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I honestly think we could have a great season on our hands, and it is genuinely difficult to predict the next few months. But as I have shown, predictions are useless - thanks Felipe. <br />
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Let the racing begin.<br />
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OH BY THE WAY, I also wrote a little piece towards the end of last year, concerning the business side of the sport. It's got interviews, columns from actual experts, some nice pictures and some serious F1 chat from yours truly. I don't even make that many snide comments in brackets or hit and miss jokes. <br />
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If you like that kind of thing (and why wouldn't you?) then click <a href="http://isport-emag.com/archive/december-2012-f1-special/">here</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-90285514160046349082013-02-01T18:00:00.001+00:002013-02-01T18:00:57.096+00:00Window of inopportunity (is that even a word?)Ahhh February 1st, the footballing equivalent of New Year's Day or the day after your birthday. <br /><br />Have you ever woken up with the cold light of day piercing the curtains, bringing to an abrupt end a fitful, uncomfortable sleep, with more questions than answers, and a dreadful combination of random lucidity, realisation and fear filling your every thought? "What did I do last night?" "How much did I spend?" Or, in Harry Redknapp's case, "What the hell is Jermaine Jenas doing here?"<br /><br />On those awful, awful mornings, you spend the next few hours tramping about the house scratching your head, wondering if it is too late to right the wrongs of yesterday, but the evidence soon appears and you are left to scramble hopelessly around, stuck in damage-limitation mode. If we're going to continue this tenuous analogy which has gone way too far already, let me please ask this: how much did Peter Odemwingie have to drink last night?!<br /><br />I am of course talking about transfer deadline day and, like most things in life, it turned out to be dreadfully predictable. Arsenal once again ignored their obvious need for an extra player or two until long after everyone had cared, signing Nacho Monreal from Malaga. By the way, Monreal looks like a strange mix of Peter Crouch and Luka Modric, which I find incredibly disturbing. The injury sustained by Kieran Gibbs in midweek meant that Arsenal were left without a recognised left-back for at least three weeks. I understand that Andre Santos occasionally tries to find his way to left-back, but the key word is 'recognised'...and I don't recognise Mr Santos as a footballer, let alone a specialist in a position.<br /><br />By contrast, QPR had a very busy day. Knowing that heroic defender Ryan Nelsen was on his way to the MLS to teach soccerball, the Premier League's bottom club were keen to add a defender or six. Christopher Samba duly arrived after a turbulent spell at that Russian club with the long name, while Jenas and Andros Townsend came later in the day. Incidentally, Harry Redknapp appeared nonplussed when asked about his association with transfer deadline day, but the man spends so much time leaning out of his car in front of a camera, answering benign questions, he should be made a spokesman for his local McDonald's Drive-Thru.<br /><br />But seriously? QPR signed three average players and nearly signed two others? Am I the only one who finds transfer deadline day incredibly self-serving and tedious? Much like the Premier League itself, it is an opportunity to maximise interest and revenues in a declining entity. Remember when deadline day was exciting? Me neither, except a few times when a couple of billionaires went mental and bought everything in sight. The main excitement from yesterday was Odemwingie NOT signing for someone. Yes, the West Brom striker will now be left with a situation more awkward than Lance Armstrong playing 'truth or dare' and I can understand that that is vaguely amusing for a minute or two. However, gossiping about how people will have to deal with their workmates is not the domain of the football fan, we seem to prefer hypocrisy and beating the crap out of each other instead. Thanks again Millwall by the way.<br /><br />Forgive me for making a political/economic point, but in difficult financial times, with a triple-dip recession looming, how can we justify a system which allows Mr Samba - a decent, but hardly world-class defender - to earn £100,000 a week? It is not Samba's fault, but such a vast inflation of his perceived talents are surely thanks in no small part to this ridiculous, over-rated, disappointing day. What the transfer window provides is a licence for men with more money than sense to take vast, unjustified gambles to promote their own image, at the inevitable expense of their club. QPR may have yesterday's activity to thank if they avoid relegation, but what if they don't? What if they are left with these expensive trophies which seemed so attractive the night before? What if, going back to the case of 'the morning after', the club are left with the awkward situation of getting them to leave without giving too much away and not looking like a prick?<br /><br />In Arsenal's case, why did they have to rush to buy Monreal in the first place? Because they were left with Andre Santos. Why? Because of the deadline day of Autumn 2011, when Arsenal bought five (I think) players in a desperate bid to halt an alarming early-season slide. How many of those signings have proved to be worthwhile? Per Mertesacker still has the jury out, albeit in no rush to deliver a verdict, much like how Per is never in a rush...ever. Yossi Benayoun and Park Chu-Young have since moved on, leaving Mikel Arteta as the only success from that day...and he hasn't exactly set the world alight, has he?<br /><br />Anyway, that's quite enough from me. I can't believe how many serious points I've made in this post, this is not what I want to do. That said, perhaps I am maturing into a more rounded, context-driven and focused sport writer. Maybe this the new me. Maybe this marks a change in the direction of this blog.<br /><br />On the other hand, boobs.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-50085944632900719522013-02-01T17:12:00.000+00:002013-02-01T17:12:21.585+00:00Sport in 2013: One year on from my first spam.I remember starting this blog exactly one year ago with a mission: set up humorous, provocative and generally fun collection of my musings and ramblings about the finest sporting events around the world, as often as possible. When I say the finest sports, I basically mean the ones I like, and when I say around the world, I invariably mean within the United Kingdom and when I say as often as possible, I of course mean whenever I can be bothered which, since July, has been about twice.<br /><br />What has changed? Well, I still find growing a beard difficult and despite numerous (one) attempt(s), I remain incredibly thin and geeky. I decided I needed to take a sabbatical from the stressful world of stress-free blogging and took some time out to really find myself, spending long afternoons standing at the top of hills, staring wistfully into the distance with a solitary tear rolling down my cheek.*<br /><br />* - Lying in bed thinking "I might do a blog today...nah, Everybody Loves Raymond is on"<br /><br />Unfortunately, the beginning of my internship and employment related laziness coincided with the most remarkable period of British sport of my lifetime. Still bearing the scars of Andy Murray's Wimbledon defeat and Manchester United's incredible sacrifice of the Premier League title, I resigned myself to a 2012 full of heartache and despair.<br /><br />Which of course was wrong.<br /><br />Still, 2013 is a new year and - more importantly - February is a new month, so it is time to get that New Year/Month/Week's resolution sorted.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-72973402871258626512012-12-17T11:35:00.005+00:002012-12-17T11:35:54.916+00:00I'm unemployed again, so welcome back.Ahhh hello old friends, I am glad to give you the chance to venture back into my incoherent, babbling thoughts.<br /><br />Regarding the title, I don't know if you can call an unpaid internship "employment", but it's the best I had to work with, and it made me feel special. I will miss the glum stares of commuters begging for the sweet embrace of death on cold Wednesday mornings and the opportunity to dress in jeans on 'casual Friday', like a complete maniac, but things had to change, so I stormed out of there last week with my head held high, deciding enough was enough*.<br /><br />* - patiently waited until the last minute, subtly begged for a job and meekly acknowledged the inevitable end of my contract.<br /><br />So, with the year approaching its end and my promises of regular blogs as broke three members of Take That, I would like to offer the writing equivalent of the deathbed repentance. After all, the world is supposedly ending on Friday if you believe a long-dead collection of people which ran out of time, resources and calendars. No, not Woolworths, the Mayans. <br /><br />I am sorry to have abandoned you all once again, but my tenacity and unwavering desire to chase my dreams meant that I had to prioritise a little. (When I say tenacity, I mean apathy, when I say dreams, I mean unpaid internship and when I say prioritise, I mean that getting home late gave me little option but to cry myself to sleep in preparation for the next day.)<br /><br />Today I will try to write a few reviews of the past twelve months. 2012 has been pretty quiet year, so it shouldn't take me long. Happy reading.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-65989172574791473962012-10-08T22:56:00.002+01:002012-10-08T22:56:46.281+01:00Das Finger strikes again as Alonso faltersWarning: the following blog was written by someone suffering from severe man-flu and about to celebrate an incredibly low-key birthday.<br /><br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Ahhh Formula One 2012, what are we going to do with you ey?<br /><br />You couldn't just be all boring and predictable, like Ed Miliband, snooker or Alan Shearer could you? <br /><br />I am of course talking about the season as a whole, this weekend's race at Suzuka was more dull than a Kimi Raikkonen speech about geology. Am I the only one who thinks that? Suzuka normally provides great racing but, after the first corner, I was quite underwhelmed by the action.<br /><br />Anyway, the sport is still set for it's most thrilling finale in...well...two years. This year, the glory looks set to go either to Fernando Alonso or Sebastian Vettel...or maybe Lewis Hamilton or maybe Kimi Raikkonen. In fact, I was tempted to name this post "two and a half men" on that basis, but then most people would avoid it on the grounds that the blog would involve Charlie Sheen hanging out with a ten-year-old boy.<br /><br />Once again, I tried to avoid both qualifying and race results, but once again, my irrational addiction to BBC Sport meant that I gave away both before I could hang on for the highlights shows. Anyway, just like at the Bahrain Grand Prix earlier this year, I was given the terrifying feeling that I had been taken back in time to 2011, with Seb dominating a race and everyone being far too polite to put up a fuss. As a result, I won't spend too much time talking about how the German cruised to pole position, got to the first corner first and subsequently dominated the race, holding off the challenge of the <a href="http://doug-elder.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/massa-man-to-beat-as-f1-prepares-to.html">brilliant Felipe Massa.</a><br /><br />Behind him, there was more of a race, with Romain Grosjean again doing his best to annoy the whole paddock. Grosjean to me is like Donkey Kong in Mario Kart, he can be quick, but is incredibly clumsy. After a decent getaway, he collided with Mark Webber after what he said was an over-zealous attempt to not hit anyone. Say what? That's like saying "but love, I was trying so hard not to kiss her, I ended up shagging her"...isn't it? However, Romain wasn't the only Lotus causing trouble in the first corner; Raikkonen himself was caught up in his own incident, in his case with championship leader Alonso, causing him to spin out and as a result, making this year's title battle tighter than (note: come back to crap sex metaphor later).<br /><br />Kamui Kobayashi drove a splendid race in front of his home fans to take the final podium position, despite a late push from Jenson Button who, sadly, wasn't able to apply more pressure than he did, which was about as much as a kitten in a vacuum. That said, Button drove a strong race in difficult circumstances at a track he often excels at. How he copes with the demands of being McLaren's apparent number one driver will be interesting with the talented Sergio Perez making life difficult. The young Mexican remains enigmatic to me; after three podium finishes this season, two of them in second place, you would have expected him to have amassed many points than he has. You want to know why? I'm going to tell you, gather round.<br /><br />The reason he hasn't is his inconsistency, which surfaced again this weekend. After a stunning overtaking move on the unusually circumspect Hamilton, he attempted a similar manouvre later in the race, only to get it totally wrong, and in the manner of a drunk man falling over in a puddle, only at 100mph. Then again, the Sauber wouldn't be the first thing with a Chelsea logo stamped on it's body to do something reckless and stupid.<br /><br />Are we done talking about the race now? Yes? Good, let's look ahead.<br /><br />Four of the next five races were not on the calendar in 2008, when Lewis Hamilton took the world title. I was going to go somewhere with that statistic, but it actually doesn't really mean anything, so I may just leave you in awe of my knowledge. <br /><br />I can't see past Vettel winning a third consecutive title, which would be something of a shame. I don't think Vettel has driven particularly well this year, while Alonso and - to a lesser extent - Hamilton have been excellent and consistent. Of course, my prediction means Vettel won't win the title, but the Red Bull looks so strong after a a raft of new upgrades. That said the next four circuits should in theory suit the McLaren, due to the huge straights at these tracks, tracks which follow the tried-and-tested formula from track designing extraordinaire Herman Tilke (long straight, hairpin, long straight, loads of twisty shit in the middle, with run-off about the size of New Zealand, then back to the long straight). To make the season interesting, one of Raikkonen or Hamilton has to win in Korea. <br /><br />McLaren will of course say they will not use Button to help Hamilton, but failure to do so would be stupid, and McLaren are too well run and too strategically strong to...oh wait. Anyway, if Button fails to comply, Hamilton will do what he does best: get on Twitter and moan about it.<br /><br />I do love back-to-back races, providing as they do a great opportunity to make sex jokes about Formula One on consecutive weekends. I hope you enjoyed my return to Formula One, if not, the link to that Felipe Massa piece will remind you of when I used to be funny.<br /><br />I will report back to you in a week, when hopefully I will be able to leave my bed.<br /><br />Peace.<br /><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-56867767499676397752012-10-02T23:09:00.002+01:002012-10-02T23:11:18.029+01:00Orgies, Bin Laden and Lazarus...you'll see.The last time I made a blog post, Andy Murray appeared to be doomed to failure in all Grand Slam finals, the Olympics hadn't happened yet, and if someone asked me to "Gangnam style", I would think I was being invited to some crazy orgy.<br />
<br />
A lot has changed; I have graduated from university, finished a position at Total Football Magazine and have taken a new position elsewhere, making the big bucks (travel expenses) like an actual journalist, not some spotty, itchy twenty-something desperately seeking an employer with more money than sense. Since I stopped blogging, we in Britain have witnessed a truly remarkable summer of sport, and I take a lot of responsibility for that. So, with the sporting drama of the next few months guaranteed to be as dry as a Panda in a convent, I will return with my shining wit (or an anagram of it), for your entertainment. You know, until I get bored and stop again.<br />
<br />
Anyway, my last blog was about Andy Murray's heartbreaking Wimbledon final loss. As I predicted, the naysayers and "haters" quickly resumed liking the "Scot" when he became a "Brit" again at this Summer's Olympics, where he not just beat Roger Federer, but inflicted a defeat more embarrassing than Steve Kean doing a press conference...naked. Oh, Steve Kean has been sacked? My God, it has been a while.<br />
<br />
I will return to Andy Murray later, but I think the Olympics needs to be discussed beforehand. Last time I wrote here, Britain was about to be swamped by 791 million foreign spectators, and our tube systems would be more cramped and over-worked than Wayne Rooney at a nursing home. Our security would be so bad that Osama Bin Laden would actually come back from the dead, travel to Stratford, win a few gold medals, give the Queen a wedgie and then destroy the Olympic Park.<br />
<br />
As it happened, we were treated to a truly remarkable Games. I still have no idea what the opening ceremony was about, but it was a truly spectacular display of what it means to be British, without the political-correctness, whining and bad food. When the flags came out, I was overwhelmed by how many countries actually wanted to send people to East London, but that's what the Games are all about, triumph over adversity*. After Wiggins, Hoy and co blew us away on their bikes, there came an evening so dramatic and so triumphant that the whole nation collectively squealed in orgasmic delight. And not just because everyone seems to have a crush on Jessica Ennis.<br />
<br />
* - sorry cockneys, please don't hurt me.<br />
<br />
The first Saturday of the Games included a 45 minute period where Britain won three gold medals...in athletics. Not on bikes or on boats, but actually running and stuff. From then on, something magical happened. We started being nice to each other. Train and tube journeys would be accompanied by smiles, manners and conversations. Of course, we have since regressed into our old selves, where any attempt to talk to a stranger on the train is met by either a glare or prayers that one won't get stabbed. Ahhh London.<br />
<br />
I was lucky enough to watch the Beach Volleyball at Horse Guards Parade, but to those of you thinking I'm a jammy sod, half of the time was spent up in the Gods, in the middle of a storm, looking at big Latvian men diving around in the sand, playing with balls. Not so lucky now am I?<br />
<br />
I told you I would get back to Andy Murray. After his Olympic triumph, Murray took New York by storm, displaying determination, ruthlessness and throaty roars not seen since Godzilla in the 1998 movie...Godzilla.<br />
Once again, as soon as people got a feeling Murray could win, their attitudes began to change towards him. A fifth Grand Slam Final followed and a meeting with Novak Djokovic would test whether Murray really had grown stronger mentally. After winning two titanic sets, it appeared the 76 year wait for a British male Grand Slam winner would be continue for no more than an hour. Murray, sensing I now had a job to get up for early the next morning, decided to screw with my mind and lose the next two sets. However, he hung on to take a victory which was never in doubt. My Facebook statuses - accompanied by constant swearing and anti-Scottish sentiment - were just a joke.<br />
<br />
What else happened? Oh yeah, the Formula One hasn't been too bad. Fernando Alonso, being Dick Dastardly himself, managed to take a huge lead in the World Championship almost without anyone noticing, until Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel said "hang on a minute,what the hell?" Victories in Hungary and Italy helped Lewis close the gap on the Spaniard, before a gearbox more brittle than Michael Owen's hamstrings gave way in Singapore, allowing Vettel to take advantage. <br />
<br />
Hamilton has since moved to Mercedes, a transfer shocking for one simple reason: it proved Eddie Jordan right. Have I really been gone so long that Eddie Jordan is now some kind of bright shirt-wearing, goatee-sporting, future-predicting genius? Or did he just get the two teams mixed up, like the time he called Paul McCartney "George"? I'm sure I will address this issue in my upcoming blog about the Japanese Grand Prix, where I will make grovelling apologies to my Formula One readers, who are a dedicated bunch and strange for the simple fact that they find me funny. The move doesn't make much sense to me, but then Lewis earns slightly more than me, so he can do what he wants.<br />
<br />
The football has started again, but nothing has really happened there, except that Mark Hughes is still rubbish, Manchester United's midfield is still awful and we still don't know if John Terry is a racist. More football blogs will of course follow, but this summer's epicness, combined with Rio Ferdinand's ineptitude, has left me with a sense of apathy towards what is still my favourite sport.<br />
<br />
Finally, I have even started to like golf. Last Sunday's Ryder Cup win for Europe was so dramatic and emotional, I ended up bouncing around, on my bed, in my boxers at eleven o'clock at night, something which probably caused local dog-walkers to wonder who I was enjoying my Sunday night with. Europe's comeback was so good, I will now refer to Lazarus' little story as a comeback of 'Lazabal* proportions.<br />
<br />
* - sorry.<br />
<br />
A shit pun in relation to a momentous comeback. It's always nice when blog posts come around full circle. I apologise for being away so long, but I'm sure you found the strength to live without my irrelevant musings about sport, the one thing that distracts from just how shit life can really be.<br />
<br />
I look forward to annoying you all again this weekend. Toodles.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690729425014810067noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-90119857114158070682012-07-08T19:58:00.001+01:002012-07-10T09:20:53.624+01:00I'm 21 years, 8 months and 29 days old.And I wanted to cry my eyes out about half an hour ago. In Andy Murray's words "this is not going to be easy".<br />
<br />
But I'm gonna try. I'm probably going to get really defensive at bigoted people or end up sounding like Andy's PR manager, but I'm gonna try.<br />
<br />
For the last two days... OK two weeks... OK seven years, Andy Murray has had to deal with questions about when he would win a first Grand Slam title. "It's a matter of time" said all the pundits. "I'm still improving" said Murray. "Stop asking me about Andy bloody Murray" said the other members of tennis' big three-and-a-half. The weight of expectation for the best part of a decade has been on Andy's Scottish (coz he lost) shoulders and to forge a career as successful as he has is nothing short of amazing.<br />
<br />
Yes, he has forged a successful career. Ten Grand Slam semi-finals, four Grand Slam finals, beaten in all only by three of the best players ever to play the game. How Andy must wish his parents had had a little too much vodka one night a few years earlier, then he would be battling Juan Carlos Ferrero and Gaston Gaudio instead of Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer. And Rafael Nadal. And Joe-Wilfried Tsonga. <br />
<br />
Instead, Andy was baptised into the cruel world of British sporting expectation a little late, while it was left to Tim Henman to battle players from tennis' Hall of Meh. Life isn't fair.<br />
<br />
People often don't like Murray because he is dour, serious and...well, Scottish. "Give me Tim Henman any day of the week" they say behind their copy of The Daily Mail, a replica England flag sticking out of a tweed hat as they intertwine their barely disguised disdain for their country's best player with their dissatisfaction with Council Tax, immigrants, the Labour party and Holly Willoughby. These same people are those who burnt David Beckham in effigy in 1998 and don't "get" Lewis Hamilton. <br />
<br />
Only in this country could we reject our finest sporting products. If the Chinese turned their back on their finest products, there would be NOTHING IN OUR BLOODY HOUSES. Roger Federer is a likeable enough guy but sometimes fails to cross the line between arrogance and magnanimous...ness. Do the Swiss hate him? No. Why? Because the Swiss get stuff done. In their eyes, personality and background are immaterial when the results are taken into account. Only in Britain could we ask for just a little bit more. "Sure, he's good and sure, he plays for us, but would it kill him to smile a little more?" With all due respect; fuck off. This guy was around when sixteen children were killed at his school, a happy-go-lucky attitude probably went with them. Joe-Wilfried Tsonga is a chipper character and has a great name. One Grand Slam final. And was beaten by Murray.<br />
<br />
Bear in mind, these same people who slag off our best tennis player may well be the first to support him when he dons Olympics clothing in just under a month's time. "Always liked him" they'll say. "I hope he wins" will say others. "Leave me alone" will say the rest.<br />
<br />
Besides, Andy Murray's runner-up speech was heart-warming if nothing else. People criticise him for being stoic, apathetic and downright grumpy. So what if he is? Today, he showed a passion and a commitment to his sport which if a few more of us did to our jobs (I'm still unemployed but shhh), our economy would be a whole lot better. Here was a guy who had had his arse kicked for nearly four hours, but had the grace to applaud the man who deservedly beat him and the gratitude to thank those who share a country with him, even if some (the minority) turn their back on him. <br />
<br />
Andy Murray is like a Scottish (coz he lost) Jesus, people didn't like him when he was doing his thing, but maybe two thousand years from now, huge churches will be erected with massive stained windows of Murray's face contorted in a mixture of rage, frustration and passion. A necklace of Murray pointing at a ball boy for a towel wouldn't look great though.<br />
<br />
Even after defeat, and my own witty use of brackets, I wonder if our country and our media will finally accept that Andy Murray is British. The man lives in England, has some English blood and nearly kills himself for the "foreign" people who support him. Whisper it, he may even be becoming slightly more likeable.<br />
<br />
A brief word about the match because, you know, there was a match before I decided to yell at people who dislike Andy Murray, even if they do have their own reasons and right to dislike the guy.<br />
<br />
Murray made the better start. So often in the big matches, he is slow out of the blocks and cedes a momentum which becomes too forceful to overcome. After breaking early, he was pegged back on serve early in the first set. However, he staved off the Federer threat and eventually broke and then went on to win the first set. So often Murray is accused of being defensive or overwhelmed by the occasion. Others use that most ambiguous, convenient, self-serving and pointless of sporting phrases: "he bottled it". Not in that first set he didn't, he went full pelt and deservedly took his early lead. Hell, he even played so well, he made Roger Federer look his thirty years. Federer almost broke sweat.<br />
<br />
But like that bit when your dream is getting good, some bastard wakes you up. Halfway through the second set, Murray was arguably playing the better tennis and had points to break the Swiss players serve. And then Federer showed up, playing unbelievable tennis to hold serve and then even better stuff to force the break which gave him the set. <span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">It was all too good to be true, like when you're doing an exam and the first ten questions are easy, then someone asks you to work out the square root of the meaning of life.<br /><br />As Murray contemplated his now level footing with tennis' best ever player, he struggled to stay in touch until, in a moment of sporting pathetic fallacy, it began to rain. A collective breather was almost audible under Centre court's closing roof as the players took a break which one sensed Murray needed.</span><br />
<br />
As it turned out, Federer wasn't fussed. Momentum? Pah! Home hero? Whatever. Federer came out under the 1,000 ton roof and proceeded to dump that same weight of pressure on the Murray serve which, if you were nit-picking, was his main weakness. Federer broke midway through set three and then midway through set four to set up his grand victory, a victory Murray made sure was not inevitable until an attempted passing shot on Federer's second match point was 90% of its way to the tramlines. Those were the margins. Murray was incredible, Federer was just a bit better. The bastard.<br />
<br />
What now for Murray? He's come back from this sort of adversity before and I think we can all agree that he is one of the best players in the world. He will continue to get chances and he will continue to improve, something he has done (at least mentally) with the instalment of Ivan Lendl as his coach. Lendl himself, you will be bored to tears hearing, lost his first four Grand Slam finals too. But then, he played in a slightly more favourable era too. Murray should win one of these dam things soon, but this country is amazing at producing nearly men. Which is one of the few things we do with as much consistency as a Roger Federer drop shot.<br />
<br />
It wasn't easy to write that, but I did it anyway. The last few months have sucked for me as a sports fan. To fill you in, I support Manchester United, Lewis Hamilton, the Scotland rugby team, Surrey country cricket club and other teams which have this year been so close to victory, before being pipped by someone slightly better. <br />
<br />
Sporting Gods, why have you forsaken me? <br />
<br />
For the next few weeks, I may give a lot of money to charity, do more of the washing up and even buy gifts for people. Things have got to turn around.<br />
<br />
And they will. This was not Murray's time but, as I write, the sun has just come out. Maybe it will for Britain's (coz he's still a winner) Andy Murray one day.Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-20780675488585517892012-07-02T11:27:00.000+01:002012-10-01T23:52:23.057+01:00Euro 2012 over, productivity levels rise<br />
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Stupid blog won't let me add stupid pictures, I hope your concentration holds!<br />
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For 23 days, I have been stuck in a blissful state of football related
comatose. I woke up this morning feeling as if I’ve aged three years in three
weeks. <br />
<br />
The skies are grey again, as if the football Gods themselves are preparing for
their impending exit from the spotlight. Euro 2012 is over, which means that
for the more dedicated of us, a seemingly endless trawl through football’s
transfer gossip is depressingly likely. <br />
<br />
Fortunately, I like tennis and, as I’m not yet a taxpayer, I like the Olympics.
I essentially get the next month of sport-induced procrastination for free, which
probably means continued unemployment, but a sort of permanent weary smile. So
I think we know who wins there.<br />
<br />
Anyway, this is a Euro 2012 article, so I thought it would be pertinent to do a
review of a truly, wonderfully, excitingly adequate tournament. Enjoy.<br />
<br />
After 30 games, a few exciting debates, a few moronic ones, 72 goals (I think),
the brilliance of Andrea Pirlo, the ineptitude of England and much, much more,
we had a final. <br />
<br />
Most people predicted a Germany v Spain showpiece, while the more ambitious
(stupid) of us thought the Netherlands would go all the way.<br />
<br />
After a few big teams and names fell by
the wayside, it was Italy who stood up to Spain to mark the end of the
tournament.<br />
<br />
The build up to the game centred on three main themes:<br />
<br />
Are Spain boring?<br />
<br />
I was thinking the same thing after painfully precise victories over France and
Portugal. Efficiency? Clinical football? Winning on penalties? It suddenly
seemed like Spain were turning into Germany.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately for Ms Merkel and co, this sudden likeness is with regard to
their football, not with their economy, but that’s a debate for people who have
more of an idea of how economics works. <br />
<br />
For all their possession, Spain were really struggling to break teams down,
which led many casual (geeky) observers to question whether opposition teams
had already figured out a way to cope with Spain’s control of possession. This ball retention was becoming so
monopolised that one expected Xavi to pull out a big cane and fake moustache,
before turning the pitch into a grid which he endlessly circled in a tiny
silver car. Just me?<br />
<br />
Last night, the Spanish finally played at their best. It turns out that if your
players play 60 odd games a season, they get tired. It turns out that if you
are shorn of your record goal scorer, you’ll struggle to…score goals. It turns
out that if you have Alvaro Arbeloa at right back, you can’t afford to be too
gung ho. Last night, Spain were anything but boring; they beat Italy into
submission until they stopped twitching.<br />
<br />
Is Andrea Pirlo the best player in the universe?<br />
<br />
It turns out that controlling England’s midfield is easier than reciting the
words to the Spanish national anthem (there are none). Pirlo was outstanding
against England, but last night he was almost peripheral as a lack of
possession and space ensured that Italy never seriously threatened Iker
Casillas’ goal.<br />
<br />
Let’s talk about Mario Balotelli some more.<br />
<br />
“Are we going to get super Mario, or stupid Mario?” “You never know what you’re
going to get with Balotelli.” “He could score or he could get sent off.” I
think the robotic BBC pundits have got stuck, as they keep saying the same
things over. <br />
<br />
As a football writer, I should love Balotelli for his headlines and tendency to
do something stupid, but I don’t buy into the hype. <br />
<br />
He worked hard last night, but was a frustrated figure and, his performance
against Germany aside, remains a player who lacks the consistency to keep
worrying defences. Stupidly, I’ve talked about him for 100 words.<br />
<br />
So, Spain were excellent. Surprise. Apparently they only had 50% of ball
possession but, as those aforementioned pundits love to tell us, “it’s what you
do with it that matters.” <br />
<br />
A goal of real quality from Jordi Alba answered the critics regarding Spain’s
lack of penetration, an attribute I will not make a tenuous metaphor for. <br />
<br />
The other three goals came from David Silva, Fernando Torres and even Juan
Mata, which is likely to prompt further claims that the Premier League is to
thank for Spain’s dominance.<br />
<br />
Before I wrap up, here are a few of my highlights of Euro 2012.<br />
<br />
Goal of the tournament – Cesc Fabregas vs Italy<br />
Didn’t expect that did you?! It wasn’t going to be this goal, but I didn’t
want to spell the name of the Polish captain again. This goal encapsulated what
Spain can do when they are at their best and forced to attack. Minutes after
falling behind, Spain struck when first Andres Iniesta found a path through
Italy’s midfield, before a wonderful reverse pass from David Silva gave
Fabregas the chance to score. An admirable mention for Theo Walcott’s
deflected-but-not-deflected shot against Sweden.<br />
<br />
Player of the tournament – Jordi Alba<br />
This is so easy. Not Pirlo, not Gomez, not Milner. No, those titans of
international football have been slain by the hitherto relatively unknown left
back. A goal in the final was just reward for a fine tournament in which he
constantly provided width to a sometimes pedestrian attack, contributed to five
consecutive clean sheets and much more. Besides, he was top scorer in fantasy
football.<br />
<br />
Game of the tournament – England 3-2 Sweden<br />
It may surprise you, but I did not pick this game for the thrilling technical
brilliance on display. Olof Mellberg’s first goal was a finish of real quality,
but although the standard of both teams was outstanding, it was the drama and
entertainment which makes it stand head and shoulders above the rest.<br />
<br />
So there you have it, the tournament is finished and so am I. I better find
something to do now. I may even eat an apple. Football fans, stay strong, there’s
only six or so weeks left to go till we can do nothing again!<br />
<br />
Now get back to work.<br />
<br />
By Doug Elder</div>
Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-41958132430724963482012-06-30T12:07:00.001+01:002012-06-30T12:09:42.962+01:00Wimbledon 2012: Where seeds fall and dreams grow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Is that the campest headline ever written? It was either that or "Rihanna and Katy Perry in sex tape scandal. Controversy confirms that the world will end in 2012" in an attempt to boost my page views. No matter.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">We are only six days in at this year's Wimbledon, but it's shaping up to be a cracker. I was even at Wimbledon on Wednesday (I think) to give you insider knowledge of the tournament itself. I even tried to get in the press area in the grounds, but for some reason I was denied.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">"Hi, my name's Douglas Elder, I'm here for the press thingy stuff?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">"How come you don't have a pass"</span></span></div>
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"I don't need a pass, don't you know who I am?"</div>
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"No"</div>
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"The writer of the popular blog 'Irrelevant irreverence'"</div>
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"Oh you! My brother says stop posting on BBC Sport's website...and your photo is scary"</div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">I tried.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Anyway, if any of you were ever unfortunate enough to read the book 'Stormbreaker', you will understand my next analogy. In the book, the protagonist uncovers a plot by a Chinese triad to sabotage the championships. Their plan involves subtly drugging the opponents of some nobody they are betting on. The first few days of these championships have seen remarkable similarities.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">On Thursday night, Rafael Nadal was beaten by relative unknown Lukas Rosol. Of course, Rosol played the match of his life, but there seemed to be a strange lethargy about Nadal. Perhaps he was made to look poor by the sheer ferocity of Rosol's groundstrokes, but Nadal just seemed half a step too slow. The challenge for Rosol now comes with his next matches, when he will be expected to destroy opponents, much in the same way I destroy all and sundry when they dare face me on a tennis court.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N9XxVhj0mXw/T-7a5oXRMyI/AAAAAAAAAPw/JRpEunhbuPw/s1600/Nadal+topless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N9XxVhj0mXw/T-7a5oXRMyI/AAAAAAAAAPw/JRpEunhbuPw/s1600/Nadal+topless.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Apparently women find Nadal sexier than me,<br />
so here is him with no top on to balance out the fact<br />
that I posted a picture of a pretty German lady recently</td></tr>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">I started making links to Chinese triads and became racked with suspicion, but then I shook myself out of such xenophobia and sent an anonymous report - detailing the probability of the Chinese derailing Wimbledon - to the Daily Mail instead. Expect some breaking news in the next hour or so.<br /></span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">As for Rosol, after losing the first set on a tiebreak, it appeared that the man had talent, but he would ultimately be swept aside by Nadal, a man who celebrates and punches his fist when his alarm wakes him up on time. However, the Czech player suddenly went all psycho axe murderer on the Spaniard and butchered him for most of the remainder of the match. Rosol, with eyes wide open in Hannibal Lector fashion, hit winner after winner as Nadal began to look more out of place than Andy Murray doing a stand-up gig.</span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br style="text-align: -webkit-auto;" /></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">Speaking of Murray, this does mean that he will have someone else to lose to in this year's semi-final which has naturally made British pulses race faster. The poor bugger has only played two matches and now a place in the final is "his to lose". Huh?! The Scot (if he doesn't win) once again has the weight of expectation on him. However, the British (if he wins) player at least only has to carry the burden of "last Brit (if he wins) standing" for nine days, instead of the usual twelve. Heather Watson reached the giddy heights of Round Three* while James Ward nearly got out of Round Two*. But didn't. </span></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br style="text-align: -webkit-auto;" /></span><br />
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">* - capitalised to emphasise magnitude of achievement.</span></span><br />
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">Watson and Laura Robson look like future top thirty players (not the most ambition prediction, but hey ho) and they might serve to take further attention from our beleaguered Scottish hope (when he loses).</span></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--v9m0KBjwx8/T-7cGnfRr4I/AAAAAAAAAP4/-VSuov6-UoY/s1600/Murray+scottish+British.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--v9m0KBjwx8/T-7cGnfRr4I/AAAAAAAAAP4/-VSuov6-UoY/s320/Murray+scottish+British.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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<br /></div>
As for the other half of the draw, the triads seemed to be at work again when both Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer lost the opening set of their third round ties to decent, but aging and limited players. Djokovic soon stopped playing and crushed Radek Stepanek like a paper cup, but Federer was taken the distance by Julien Benneateau under the centre court roof. <br />
<br />
Djokovic looks a long way from his best but one would expect him to improve, after all, how many times has he been written off in the last eighteen months before coming back to win...and give us more opportunity to look at his brother clenching his fist. Oh joy. Expect Novak to play poorly all the way to the final where he may meet Murray, before the Serbian raises his games and deflates our national self-esteem, denying us the chance of another national holiday.<br />
<br />
As for Roger, I would be amazed if he won this year's title. This now means he will almost certainly win the tournament, but I think he is starting to look slower and slower against aggressive opponents. For two hour yesterday, he was outplayed in longer rallies and it was only experience that saw him through. Better players will get in his way soon, and I don't think the Swiss player is going to make it. But he does have great hair.<br />
<br />
I'm not sexist, but I haven't had much chance to see the women play yet. <br />
<br />
The BBC don't seem to want to show them, and Wimbledon like to throw them (not literally, imagine that) onto the outside courts. I'm not going to get into an argument about equal pay, as that would be silly, and Serena Williams would probably track me down and eat me. <br />
<br />
Maria Sharapova is still in the draw. Goody. Yesterday she screamed when putting away what was essentially a drop volley. Is she an excitable character or just very annoying? You decide. <br />
<br />
As we approach halfway, the tournament is shaping up very nicely indeed, and as it has just passed half eleven, I can now look forward to another long, boring day in my bed as I watch tennis for the day. All for your entertainment. People praise the ground staff at Wimbledon as the unsung heroes, but they have it easy. I'm the one who has to watch Ernests Gulbis vs Jerzy Janowicz in fading light on an outside court.<br />
<br />
No need to thank me.Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-71580196763095748602012-06-25T11:58:00.001+01:002012-06-25T12:21:12.735+01:00Were we really going to win anyway?<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><i>What's-a matter you?<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #222222;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222;">Hey! Gotta no respect. What-a you think you do? Why you look-a so sad? It's-a not so bad, it's a nice-a place. Ah, shaddapa you face</span>.</i><br /><br />The wise words of Joe Dolce there, and I think we can all learn something from that great, great man. Yes, it hurts. Yes, we’re still rubbish at penalties. But in truth, we played for this agony…and the ending shouldn’t surprise any of us. So shaddapa your face.<br /><br />England didn’t have the players required to really harm Italy. Of course we tried. And unlike at the World Cup two years ago, no one can fault a lack of effort. Maybe a lack of ambition, but when England get too ambitious, really bad things tend to happen in clubs and pubs around the country, so we should be grateful that we chickened out.<br /><br />England had little choice but to sit back and hope for a Chelsea-esque miracle. At least penalties would give us a (theoretical) 50-50 chance. In the end, we chose suicide over execution. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UfnlysS30o8/T-hB0kNnjuI/AAAAAAAAAPI/IX8X_DFLAe4/s1600/Hart+football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: #6fa8dc; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UfnlysS30o8/T-hB0kNnjuI/AAAAAAAAAPI/IX8X_DFLAe4/s320/Hart+football.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">"Ahhh crap"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">But we never really had a chance did we? No, our big shot at European glory came eight years ago in Portugal, when an agonising penalty shootout loss to the hosts meant we crashed out at a time when the draw was really opening up for a talented side. So don’t look-a so sad. It’s-a not so bad.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">I will also remember Euro 2004 due to Greece’s insistence on boring the continent to tears. That tournament may have provided some hope to England fans; anyone can win football tournaments with a little luck, a good manager and a Hellas (pardon the pun) of a lot of defending…it just didn’t work out this time.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Eight years ago was when we had the right to be sad, not now. Now we’re pretty mediocre. Hard working, but mediocre.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">And it is that simple fact that we all have to come to terms with. Instead of waking up with a smile and slightly sore head, we all have to face the crushing reality of Monday morning with yet more tournament heartbreak at the back of our minds. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Instead of glorious, witty Facebook statuses about England’s pragmatism triumphing over Italy’s over-rated, so-called technical superiority, a lot of us have had to come to terms with the fact that we were not lucky enough to be born into a country with sufficient footballing prowess.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TUk2WVhBDJI/T-hCV2WaEAI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/uE71ZcB_s3s/s1600/Balotelli+Henderson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: #6fa8dc; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TUk2WVhBDJI/T-hCV2WaEAI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/uE71ZcB_s3s/s1600/Balotelli+Henderson.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">We also have to deal with the fact that we know more people of Italian descent than we thought we did. Count how many of your mates have changed their name from Paul Smith to Paulo Seppi.<br /><br />In fact, the people I most feel sorry for are the good people at Google. Their translate feature must have gone into overdrive at the amount of middle-class, suburban British kids working out just what “Forza Italia” means.<br /><br />That said, if Google translate can survive the over-use I gave it in preparation for my Italian exam this spring, it can cope with anything.<br /><br />I hope these expatriates can now focus all their attention on Thursday’s semi-final against Germany. Did we really want to play against Germany in a semi-final again?<br /><br />When all is said and done, last night was essentially an opportunity to update your wall chart (if you’re quite sad), maybe get some fantasy football points (if you’re a bit sadder) and moan at your country's various Manchester United players (if you support Arsenal).<br /><br />Other than that, it was a match played for the right to lose to the Germans. What an honour.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X465VQrDQDA/T-hDI_jxC2I/AAAAAAAAAPY/UAUeUPJCqU8/s1600/England+Germany.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: #6fa8dc; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X465VQrDQDA/T-hDI_jxC2I/AAAAAAAAAPY/UAUeUPJCqU8/s1600/England+Germany.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">Don't think it would end well this time</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br />But let’s just talk about penalties briefly. Like the 4-2-3-1 formation or eulogising over Mario Balotelli or the Messi v Ronaldo debate, the “the team that misses first usually wins” argument was in full force last night at Elder Towers.<br /><br />It happened again, which begs the question, “why do England never win when they miss first?” The answer is simple, we’re not very good at them.<br /><br />We’re a nation of worriers; you only have to see what Bird Flu or Tim Henman did to the countries collective blood pressure to know that keeping calm in a shootout isn’t our thing.<br /><br />Another wise word of advice for those living in this fickle, fickle land, if you’re called Ashley, stay indoors for a bit.<br /><br />As for the game, it was typical England. There was plenty of huff and puff and lots of admirable but fruitless teamwork, but an ultimate lack of skill, which proved to be the team’s undoing.<br /><br />The comparison is simple. How much ground did Andrea Pirlo cover last night? How big an effect did he have on the game? Ask the same questions about Danny Welbeck and Steven Gerrard and the answer is why England won’t win a major tournament anytime soon.<br /><br />Unless we pick David Dunn or Joey Barton…<br /></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bcEblyPpoLo/T-hDsiV-yfI/AAAAAAAAAPg/9tRnbvLCTsk/s1600/Joey+Barton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: #6fa8dc; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bcEblyPpoLo/T-hDsiV-yfI/AAAAAAAAAPg/9tRnbvLCTsk/s1600/Joey+Barton.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br />In terms of Euro 2012, it’s 28 games later. Like in the famous zombie movie, I
still feel a little infected, but not so much with rage, more with that
familiar taste of disappointment and that taste of paracetamol after one hour
too many staring at a TV screen. <br />
<br />
Euro 2012 still grips me, but it is almost over, which is a real shame. <br />
<br />
Last night was the first 0-0 of the tournament and the football has in general
been fantastic. Except the Ukraine v Sweden game and anything involving
Ireland, Greece and…England.<br />
<br />
But us football fans still have work to do. Before the nation slips once again
into a sporting coma as Wimbledon and the Olympics get ever nearer, Euro 2012
isn’t done just yet. <br />
<br />
With three games to go, let’s see England’s exit as a sweet relief. Let’s enjoy
this last week as much as we can without the pressure of worrying about our
brave, but limited nation. <br />
<br />
There are more important things than football at the end of the day. If nothing
else, there’s a fantasy football league to be won.</span></span>
</div>Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-15379921895151825812012-06-24T16:21:00.001+01:002012-06-25T09:33:21.778+01:00I know absolutely nothing about Formula One<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So, I was <a href="http://doug-elder.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/i-promised-myself-i-wouldnt-write-about.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">really, really wrong</span></a>.
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;">About two days ago, I thought it would be hilarious to talk about how boring the forthcoming European Grand Prix would be. And for about three and a half laps, I was as smug as a vindicated Piers Morgan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j6sDkIsb3JA/T-ctdP6ifvI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/rN5o_atEmTQ/s1600/Massa+confused.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j6sDkIsb3JA/T-ctdP6ifvI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/rN5o_atEmTQ/s1600/Massa+confused.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">My bad.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">Then things got a bit silly. I have no idea how to analyse this race but, as you have probably been directed here from Andrew Benson's blog, luckily I don't have to. So this will probably be a calculated, eloquent, mature evaluation of a f*cking awesome race.</span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><b>Sebastian Vettel's retirement.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;">If neither Vettel, Gary Anderson nor David Coulthard - three men with considerably more money, knowledge and sex appeal (yes, even Gary Anderson) than me - can't make sense of the incident, then I will have no chance. It was lap thirty-something or forty-something, and a safety car had bunched up the field to the point where my prediction of boredom was already looking misguided.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><br />So often in the past, Vettel has used the safety car restart as another opportunity to show everyone else how good his car is. However, today he was not able to get the gap he wanted and, under pressure from Fernando Alonso, Romain Grosjean and other, his car inexplicably failed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><br />Out of the race went the German, out of the car went some pretty expensive gloves and out of my sofa went my backside. "HAVE SOME OF THAT YOU MUG! SHOVE THAT FINGER UP YOUR A**E!" I politely exclaimed. The realisation that Fernando Alonso had taken the lead was yet to sink in, but suddenly, a real race was building.<br /><br />Suddenly, those still dormant fears in the back of the minds of F1 fans were receding - unlike last year, Vettel was not going to simply run away with the world championship.<br /><br />The sight of Christian Horner's leg nervously shaking with no image of his top half always makes me feel a little uncomfortable and wonder which channel I am watching. It was nothing like the nervous excitement felt by Formula One fans around the world and the crowd in Valencia when the German walked away from a race which was far from finished.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CbyGuZ3bHrI/T-cuulOT4gI/AAAAAAAAAOY/mAT4ZY-go0U/s1600/Funny+finger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CbyGuZ3bHrI/T-cuulOT4gI/AAAAAAAAAOY/mAT4ZY-go0U/s1600/Funny+finger.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">My reaction to Vettel's finger</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><b>Fernando Alonso's brilliance.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In recent weeks, I am warming to Alonso. Despite myself and, to a larger extent, despite himself, I am gaining a huge amount of respect for the man which I know in my heart of hearts is mutual. I respect his driving, he respects my writing. <br /><br />Starting 11th on the grid, it appeared that today's race would be an opportunity for Vettel and Lewis Hamilton to stretch their leads over the dangerous Spaniard. As it happened, Alonso managed to gain 25 points on both men. What the hell.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As usual, Eddie Jordan was up Ferrari's arse about their poor qualifying performance and again, Stefano Domenicali was reduced to the role of told off schoolboy as Mr Jordan went on another of his hindsight-fueled, senseless rants. A bit like me really, but in a fabulous shirt. <br /><br />Yes, Alonso's qualifying was poor but, as I remarked in a rare moment of insight and clarity, starting 11th is probably about the 7th best place to start. Ignoring the temptation to start on the harder, slower tyre, Alonso knew that he needed a good start to make his fresher tyres work. He did just that, climbing to seventh early on, a position which enabled him to take advantage of the huge slices of fortune he was to enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D64XU1OreaE/T-cvV54lDNI/AAAAAAAAAOg/K8UHdQMvKFc/s1600/Darth+Alonso.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D64XU1OreaE/T-cvV54lDNI/AAAAAAAAAOg/K8UHdQMvKFc/s1600/Darth+Alonso.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Explains a lot...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The safety car which indirectly brought about the end of Vettel's race served to help Alonso. Closing right up to the leading cars, Alonso found himself in the top three when an uncharacteristic bad pit stop for Lewis Hamilton saw the home driver challenging for victory. <br /><br />Another important retirement, this time for Grosjean, meant that Alonso was never going to be seriously threatened for victory.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><b>Lewis Hamilton's...afternoon.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">I'm not talking about him first, so I'm not a "fanboy", whatever that means. As a Hamilton fan, today was incredibly difficult to watch. Starting second, it was clear that his McLaren did not have the pace to threaten for victory and it was no surprise when the impressive Grosjean found a way through. What followed was a continuation of the impressive maturity we have seen throughout this season from Hamilton.</span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">With around thirty laps to go, Hamilton was in a comfortable enough third position and fifteen points would have been a respectable return from a difficult race. Hamilton was on the harder tyre while Alonso was closing in on softs. Had the safety car stayed out, Hamilton would possibly have been favourite to claim at least a podium place. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;">However, the safety car meant that Hamilton had to pit earlier. Which is not good.</span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MtifANrBXJw/T-cvuyVX_0I/AAAAAAAAAOo/GR2MIeQe9es/s1600/McLaren+pit+crew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MtifANrBXJw/T-cvuyVX_0I/AAAAAAAAAOo/GR2MIeQe9es/s1600/McLaren+pit+crew.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;">Had someone said that Grosjean and Vettel would not finish, one would have believed Hamilton would win, and he perhaps would have done were it not for more bad luck/incompetence from McLaren. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />As those around him pitted, Lewis decided the time was right to follow suit. Big mistake buddy. This time, a faulty jack contributed to a fourteen second pit-stop, which meant that Hamilton fell to sixth place, a position he improved to third, but to the detriment of his tyres, which would later fall away. <br /><br />Surviving a stewards inquiry for speeding under yellow flags, Hamilton was in second with around five laps to go. He fought bravely to keep Raikkonen behind, but it was no use and soon Pastor Maldonado was behind him.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At least he's good-looking...</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't much like Maldonado. Like Hamilton, he has a reputation for being a hot-head and overly aggressive, but without the same talent. Braking late to overtake Hamilton, the Venezuelan ran wide and went off track and it appeared he would have to try again. <br /><br />All biases aside, he then cut back into Hamilton and took him off the track. With Hamilton's tyres fading, Maldonado could have been more patient and Lewis more pragmatic. Both men could have taken twenty-seven points instead of one.<br /><br />I haven't seen Hamilton's post-race interview, but another 'Ali-G' moment can't be discounted! Many observers were wondering if Hamilton could do a one-stop strategy. People think this is to save time. No, it's literally so that Lewis only has to pit once.<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;">I am proposing a sweep stake for the reason for Hamilton's next poor stop. Square tyres are currently the favourite.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Parallel to this is the Martin Whitmarsh attempted cheer-up line. I am expecting "the jacks were fine, the mechanics are the best, and it is probably Lewis's fault for stopping too far forward. But he'll learn and we'll come back stronger."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; font-family: inherit;"><b><i><u>Jenson Button came eighth.</u></i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What else happened? Oh yeah, Jean Eric-Vergne crashed into Heikki Kovalainen for no real reason. Narain Karthikyean, no doubt buoyed by his 24th-placed finish here last year, drove a splendid race.<br /><br />Michael Schumacher finished third after a relatively anonymous race, but his podium was well reserved. A return of one podium in around forty races isn't tooo bad.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So I was wrong, oh well. Let's hope I write off Silverstone too.</span></span></div>
<br />Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-9221220947472500662012-06-22T13:43:00.000+01:002012-06-22T18:18:08.973+01:00I promised myself I wouldn't write about Valencia but...Jaime Alguersuari said it will be good race. And who am I to doubt that behemoth of Formula One racing?<br />
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It may only be Friday, but I felt compelled to document just how boring this race could be. On the other hand, it could prove me wrong. But I'm never wrong...except the time I said that this Formula One season will be really boring. Or when I predicted that Felipe Massa would rule not just Motorsport, but the entire universe.<br />
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You may have read about it, but there have been seven different winners in this season's first seven races. I'm surprised Ben Edwards (pictured) hasn't mentioned it more, but I'm sure it will be mentioned this weekend, as there is likely to be little else to discuss.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come get me ladies...</td></tr>
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I remember watching last year's European Grand Prix in Portugal. Yes, I was in Portugal, not because I can afford to go to Portugal due to my flourishing journalism career, but because my family went on holiday and I don't see much sunlight, so I saw it as a good opportunity. <br />
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What I witnessed was the most boring race I have ever seen. The foreign commentary actually provided an interesting variable while the intermittent advert breaks were a blessed relief. Sebastian Vettel won the race pretty comfortably, more comfortable than a lot of his victories last season, and no one even crashed. Narain Karthikeyan, a driver who my regular readers will know I am a huge fan of, became the first ever driver to finish 24th in a Formula One race. He must be so proud.<br />
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This year, it might be a little less boring. Indeed, this morning's first practice session saw the front nine drivers separated by about two tenths of a second, which does bode well for Sunday's action. But you watch, that gap will get wider and wider until Vettel or maybe Hamilton "surprise" us all and put their car on pole. <br />
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The curious case of Jenson Button may be ending, he came fourth in practice this morning, which will be sweet relief to the Englishman, who has had a pants couple of races recently. His problem, according to oracle Alguersuari, was that he had thought his tyres weren't warming up enough, so he made changes to counter the problem, which made the original problem (overheating) even worse. None of that made any sense to me, but the more technical reader may understand. You're welcome. However, do you now see why I don't make too many analytical articles?
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"WHY CAN'T I GET HEAT INTO MY TYRES?!"</td></tr>
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I have to say it, I am a Lewis Hamilton fan, so I was delighted to see him win in Canada last time around. The performances of Romain Grosjean and Sergio Perez are worth highlighting too; exceptional drives from really promising young drivers. If Grosjean can avoid hitting Michael Schumacher at the first corner here in Valencia, expect him to challenge again.<br />
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Of course, the BBC have the rights to show this race, so I will be watching in spite of myself. I am likely to chain myself to a chair facing a freshly painted wall in an attempt to avoid the 'action'. However, we all know that I'll find a way to watch what should be a gripping (my armrest in frustration) race.<br />
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I will try and get a piece on the race done as soon as possible so I can go into overdrive with my spamming of Andrew Benson's column on BBC Sport. I hope you guys stick around to see what I have to say. I promise it will be funnier than this piece, it's just anticipating being bored is very difficult to make funny.<br />
<br />Even for me.Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1422219380946209352.post-34375086158879703872012-06-22T13:09:00.001+01:002012-06-22T18:13:51.994+01:00Germany v Greece preview<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Six matches to go. How the hell has this happened? If, like me, you are essentially unemployed, then this year's European Championships have been the ultimate blessing. The opportunity to vent your frustration at unknown eastern Europeans while your fantasy football team struggles provides the perfect distraction from the need to actually earn some money and...you know, grow up.<br />
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But, in times of struggle, one must keep calm and back the Germans, and that is what I plan to do here.<br />
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For so long, the cliches associated with German football were about how "efficient" they were or how one should "never write off the Germans." I wrote off the Germans once, and I'm still paying for it. The shame. These days, there is a glorious unpredictability about Germany; they will either play well, or they will play really well. The drama!<br />
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Tonight, they play the weakest team left in the tournament. <br />
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What frustrates me most about this game is not that Greece qualified despite being a dreadful team, nor that a certain German victory will mean that England - should they beat Italy - will only be playing for the right to lose to a better team once again. No, what annoys me is that weeks ago, I proposed the possibility of Germany winning this quarter-final against Greece, giving me the chance to write the brilliant headline "No referendum needed, Germany kick Greece out of the Euro." Now everyone has thought of it and I just look like Ross in 'Friends' when he said he came up with the phrase "got milk?"<br />
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I digress from digressing.<br />
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I honestly can't see past a German win. That said, I can never envisage a world where Greece win football games, yet it happens. In Mario Gomez, the Germans have a striker who has more goals than touches of the football. Gomez remains a player I don't rate too highly and the tireless work of Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mesut Ozil and Lukas Podolski makes me think of the horse Boxer in 'Animal Farm', the animal which did all the work while the greedy pigs get all the spoils.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come on Germany</td></tr>
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In defence, the Germans can be exposed, but luckily for them, Greece aren't great at exposing vulnerabilities, all economic jokes aside. Besides, if the defence do muck it up, Manuel Neuer is more than likely to bail them out, all economic jokes aside. Having said that Germany's defence can be brittle, can't anyone's? Pretty much all the teams at Euro 2012 are said to have a weak defence, maybe defending is just harder? Or, in our own minds, we are remorseless, tackling machines?<br />
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Greece's only real hope coming into this game was their captain Giorgos Karagounis, but even he got suspended after he was booked for 'diving' against Russia by a referee who seems as desperate as me to avoid the snorefest that was Euro 2004. In defence, a lot of players with very long names are impressive, but shouldn't have enough to cover the movement of Germany's attacking quintet, a group of men more scary and evil than One Direction. In attack...there probably won't be much attack, but Georgios Samaras and Dimitris Salpingidis will have much depending on them, but they are unlikely to cause too many problems.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is it me, or is European 'weird' weirder<br />
than regular 'weird'?</td></tr>
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That said, they will probably score from a corner and win 1-0. Again.<br />
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To all my Greek readers, I apologise for any bias against your team. Your players have done your country proud in such difficult circumstances. However, I am a football fan, not a nice person. Come on Germany.Doug Elderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12483663222029613478noreply@blogger.com0