Friday, 22 June 2012

I promised myself I wouldn't write about Valencia but...

Jaime Alguersuari said it will be good race. And who am I to doubt that behemoth of Formula One racing?

It may only be Friday, but I felt compelled to document just how boring this race could be. On the other hand, it could prove me wrong. But I'm never wrong...except the time I said that this Formula One season will be really boring. Or when I predicted that Felipe Massa would rule not just Motorsport, but the entire universe.

You may have read about it, but there have been seven different winners in this season's first seven races. I'm surprised Ben Edwards (pictured) hasn't mentioned it more, but I'm sure it will be mentioned this weekend, as there is likely to be little else to discuss.
Come get me ladies...
I remember watching last year's European Grand Prix in Portugal. Yes, I was in Portugal, not because I can afford to go to Portugal due to my flourishing journalism career, but because my family went on holiday and I don't see much sunlight, so I saw it as a good opportunity.

What I witnessed was the most boring race I have ever seen. The foreign commentary actually provided an interesting variable while the intermittent advert breaks were a blessed relief. Sebastian Vettel won the race pretty comfortably, more comfortable than a lot of his victories last season, and no one even crashed. Narain Karthikeyan, a driver who my regular readers will know I am a huge fan of, became the first ever driver to finish 24th in a Formula One race. He must be so proud.

This year, it might be a little less boring. Indeed, this morning's first practice session saw the front nine drivers separated by about two tenths of a second, which does bode well for Sunday's action. But you watch, that gap will get wider and wider until Vettel or maybe Hamilton "surprise" us all and put their car on pole.

The curious case of Jenson Button may be ending, he came fourth in practice this morning, which will be sweet relief to the Englishman, who has had a pants couple of races recently. His problem, according to oracle Alguersuari, was that he had thought his tyres weren't warming up enough, so he made changes to counter the problem, which made the original problem (overheating) even worse. None of that made any sense to me, but the more technical reader may understand. You're welcome. However, do you now see why I don't make too many analytical articles?

I have to say it, I am a Lewis Hamilton fan, so I was delighted to see him win in Canada last time around. The performances of Romain Grosjean and Sergio Perez are worth highlighting too; exceptional drives from really promising young drivers. If Grosjean can avoid hitting Michael Schumacher at the first corner here in Valencia, expect him to challenge again.

Of course, the BBC have the rights to show this race, so I will be watching in spite of myself. I am likely to chain myself to a chair facing a freshly painted wall in an attempt to avoid the 'action'. However, we all know that I'll find a way to watch what should be a gripping (my armrest in frustration) race.

I will try and get a piece on the race done as soon as possible so I can go into overdrive with my spamming of Andrew Benson's column on BBC Sport. I hope you guys stick around to see what I have to say. I promise it will be funnier than this piece, it's just anticipating being bored is very difficult to make funny.

Even for me.


  1. More importantly, what did Jaime Alguersuari say about his new album? Formula One fans demand to know!

    And sorry to tell you, you've gone down in my estimation by ever thinking Massa would amount to anything. Horrible little hobbit...

  2. I haven't spoken with Jaime in a while, not since "Vergne-gate".
    You don't think that Massa is secretly the greatest driver of all time? Shame on you Gwan, I thought you were open-minded.

    1. Um, maybe if we bring back traction control? Oh no, not even then... No, he's in my bad books along with Maldonado... Vettel I quite like as a person, once he puts the finger away, but I think he's rubbish from anywhere but pole. I think Webber's seriously mediocre as well, but don't dislike him per se, after all he can't help being an Australian. I think most of the rest I like or am neutral on. Even feeling sorry for Schumi right now. Here endeth the unsolicited opinion.